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Confession: I’m going to waste your time if you waste mine.

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I know everyone has their pet peeves that grate on them when a caller does it. I’m curious what everyone’s petty revenge / malicious compliance moves are for handling these things. Some examples from my job:

* I can easily locate your policy without your policy number, but if you call in without your policy number I’m going to make you spell the name at least three times and I’m going to have you verify every piece of information under the sun before I will help you.
* If you call in and I can tell you’re driving I don’t care how clear the call is I’m probably going to ask you to speak up so I can hear you over the road noise.
* If you ask me to email you a document I prefer to do it during my aftercall work for a number of reasons. I have a multitude of canned emails to use so it will only take a second and my calls are tracked and recorded so I’m not going to blow you off. But, if you insist on waiting on the line so you can make sure you get it then I am going to type every letter of that email with excruciating precision and then run about 4 spell checks before it comes your way.

Those are just a few off the top of my head. Anyone else have any fun ones to share?

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Call Center Pet Peeve: Poor Planning