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Apparently I’m a Scammer

I work for a business banking call centre in the UK, we handle the usual stuff such as bounceback loans, transfers, account balance checking, debit/credit card queries etc.

Had a chap call me up yesterday, he didn’t input any of his customer info into to our IVR system so as such, none of his account info popped up when he eventually reached my line.

Silly Man = SM Me = M

M: Hello there you’re speaking to M at *insert bank name*, can I start by taking your full name, please?

SM: No

M: Pardon?

SM: No! You’re the bank aren’t you? You should know who I bloody well am!

M: Yes, but I can see here that you didn’t input your customer number when you called up, and as part of our security mesaures we always ask customers to clarify their full name every time they call us.

SM: This is a f*****g scam isn’t it? If you’re the bank you would have all of my information ready when I call you.

M: Ok sir, I do not appreciate being sworn at when I am only trying to help you out today, did you call the number on the back of your debit card?

SM: Yes of course of I bloody did!

M: So that means you know that this isn’t a dodgy number then, as it brings you straight through to me after requesting your customer number. When you tell the robot person your customer number at the beginning of the call, this loads up your account details as you’re being passed through. You didn’t do this, so I have no idea who you are.

SM: Sounds like a load of bollocks to me, this will be the 4th time I have to switch banks because their phonelines are useless, f*** you! *hangs up*

M: *sigh* What a twit

What do you think?

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Sometimes your coworkers are the worst.

“Good, I was planning to commit suicide.”