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May I present to you the tale of Vibrator Lady and her counterpart Offended Christian Man

*To preface this, these are two different calls though this does make me wonder what would happen if the two ever met. XD*

As a call center agent for an online catalog that has several different catalogs under our umbrella I get some pretty odd calls that throw me off my game a bit. Example one: Vibrator Lady

I was minding my own business as per usual and taking a call for some items when she hits me with an item number that when I pull it up to rattle off the name and price of the item.. I had to pause. The first item was labeled a “Personal massager” which we all know what that really is but I was able to at least say the item name with a straight face. The second one was absolutely labeled a “Vibe” so I kinda just stated the price. Until that moment I didn’t know we sold anything like that so I was completely blindsided and trying to retain my composure. I am happy to say I got through the call sounding every bit the professional I am then snickered a bit after the call was over. To her credit she was every bit the polite customer and I would happily take her order again even if I was a little startled.

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The second odd call I got just earlier today. I shall dub him Offended Christian Man.

Me: Thank you for calling, my name is \[Tesla\] how may I help you?

Him: Well I have a bit of an odd questions for you. Maybe it’s not so odd, I dunno.

M: Alright, sir, what is it?

Him: I was under the impression that owners of \[Company\] were Christian. Can you confirm that?

Me: I’m sorry sir. I really don’t know anything about the owners of the company.

Him: Ahh I see. I paid off my bill last year and I was going to order something when the new catalog came. I see here some emoji (Note he pronouced it emohgee) cakes here and one of them says O.M.G. Now I’ve been led to believe that stands for Oh My God.

me: Yes sir the OMG emoji stands for Oh My God.

Him: Huh, well thanks for answering my question I guess. I hop you have a good day, What was your name again?

Me: It’s \[Tesla\]

Him: Have a good day \[Tesla\]

Me: You too sir!

I am not religious in any way but I am pretty sure he was upset that a cake would take the lords name in vain and didn’t understand how we’d put something like that in a catalog. We do have religious things in the catalog like prayer blankets and angels and such. We are a business, we cater to many different kinds of clientele. I figured if he ever found out we have a magazine that has vibrators in it he’d lose his mind.

Edit 1. Some people seemed confused by this. The way he said emoji was more like ehh moh ghee. I am not an expert at spelling phonetically. So I hope this clears it up.

What do you think?

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One of the biggest over reactions.

The customer who just made me cry