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A list of unrealistic customer demands I heard over the years

Inspired by the recent credit union call center post, here is a list of things people asked me to do while I was working as a credit union call center representative.

\- One person couldn’t get his account data exported to Quicken (not his fault, this feature never seemed to work), so he demanded multiple times that I contact the credit union’s IT techs and have one of them call him and tunnel into his home computer to fix to program. I don’t think this is even possible…but he seemed to think it was and kept asking about it.

\- Someone’s check was deposited in the wrong amount, making her account look like it had more money in it than it did. The error was fixed within hours, but she demanded that we credit her for the higher amount since we were the ones who made the error. This went to a manager, who actually did end up crediting her for the higher amount. So she got free money.

\- A person who continually over spent their account asked us to figure out a way to automatically void any checks that were written over a certain amount, for anything. So she was asking us to help her steal. When I pointed out that she needed to keep track of her own spending and that we had tools for her to do so, she rudely informed me that it wasn’t my place to judge her, she just wanted us to collude with her in her illegal scheme and shut up (in so many words).

\- Innumerable people who had rarely or never used the internet and didn’t know how to enter our web site name into an address bar or what an address bar even was expected us to help them figure out how to use our web site over the phone. If they finally figured out how to get to the page where they entered their information, they would ask many questions like, “Should I press ‘Continue’ or ‘Cancel’?”

\- One person moved out of the country and then let their debit cards expire with several thousands of dollars sitting in the account. Because we were a small credit union, we didn’t have the ability to send international wires. They hadn’t changed the address on their account and couldn’t change it for some reason (I forgot why, may have had to do with our policy about not being able to change addresses over the phone or needing to send them the address change form at the address listed on the account), so we couldn’t send a cashier’s check. Basically, their money was sitting in their account with absolutely no way for them to access it, and no one else’s name was on the account. I think we even tried to see if they had some relatives in the United States to whom we could wire the funds, who could then wire the funds to them. But in the end, there was nothing we could do. The person never planned to come back to the country. I know this story is a bit different and I did feel bad for them, but at the same time, if you’re permanently leaving the country, shouldn’t you make sure to close all your accounts first, or have some plan about how you’re going to access the funds?

What do you think?

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What do you mean you can’t change my non-changeable booking?!!!

Reading comprehension is hard.