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There’s only a couple of ways I can help you here, ma’am.

Customer: (really snottily) I wanted to see about cancelling X add-on program and I’ve been passed around between a bunch of people. What’s so hard about cancelling it??

Me: Are you looking to temporarily disable the functionality of \[add on program\] or cancel it altogether?

(She did mention cancelling of course, but we’re required to have these types of requests double confirmed because people have had this type of add-on service cancelled only to be upset with us because they really meant “disabled temporarily”, which can easily be done in the system. Cancelling removes it from your account and stops all billing, disabling it means you can just turn it off and on as needed but continue to pay for it.)

Customer: (extra snottily) WELL, whatever gets me out of having to pay $600 a month

Me: Alrighty, so it sounds like you do want to cancel, in order to help with that I’d have to get you over to X team-

Customer: No, someone just transferred me over there and no one picked up, I want to speak to a human

Me: Okay, well, since X team handles cancellations for \[add on program\], I can either transfer you directly there, or I can put in a request for them to give you a call back?

Customer: I was on hold for 25 minutes! ((unintelligible grumbling))

There’s a long stretch of silence after she mumbles to herself for a bit.

Me: …..So would you like me to put in a callback request?

Customer: (sighing) No, just transfer me to X Team.

I transferred her to the appropriate department. Then I went ahead and made a callback ticket for her anyway and sent it to that department’s queue, just in case the lines really were that busy (that department stays busy, but you’re definitely never on hold for more than 10 minutes, if that). Anything to keep her from blowing up tech support again.

I also looked over her account history and discovered that she’s been upset because she apparently has been trying to reach someone to cancel since last week and apparently doesn’t believe in inconvenient things like “regular business hours”.

She had put in her request to cancel the add-on service at around 5:30am the Saturday before last- by replying to an old email ticket thread from March of 2021.

This is why some of us drink.

What do you think?

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What makes you think I can’t remove money I have put in your account?!

Customers who don’t know where they’re going want to buy a ticket!