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INFO: I work in a tech-support call center for a significant amount of the banks in my country (the same company makes handles all the IT for multiple banks, and I work for that company). My calls mostly involve the functions of our online banking portal.
Today, I got a call from a customer (we’ll call him C). He had already typed his SSN into the phone, so I could see his profile-information. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, the most noticeable thing was that his profile type was one, which is reserved for ‘customers of wealth’, and the limit on how much he could transfer in a day was the highest possible option. This alone doesn’t really tell me anything about what the call will be about.
The call begins:
M: Tech-support, GLBMQP speaking. What can I help you with?
C (shouting): WHEN ARE YOU GONNA FIX IT!?
M: I’m sorry to hear you’re having troubles, what is your issue?
C: It’s so fucking confusing, only academics could ever understand it! And they made it like this on purpose! If only academics can understand it, they have an excuse to hire more academics!
M: Which system or function is it you’re having issues with?
C: I’m just trying to look at my account like I HAVE A RIGHT TO! And I have to spend 20-30 minute each day just figuring out how it works. IT’S A PIECE OF SHIT AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO MAKE SOMETHING AS COMPLICATED AS THIS BULLSHIT
I went on for some time trying to figure out what his issue was, while he continued to aggressively complain and blame it on ‘academics’, who he still believed had intentionally rigged the system to make it incomprehensible. During this rant he also spouted a lot of very inappropriate things about people with autism.
Eventually I figure out what his issue is: when you click on one of your accounts in our system, you see an overview of the transfers and payments (extremely standard for banks in Denmark, and I imagine it’s not much different in other countries). We have a feature you can toggle on or off, where you can see what the account total was after each transaction. It’s very simple, you can see in big numbers the account that was withdrawn or deposited, and in slightly smaller numbers underneath you can see the account balance after the transaction. After I realised that this was what he was upset about, I tried to explain how it worked.
C: It’s due to this feature in the banking portal. If you don’t like it, you can click on this button to have it removed. If you want it turned on, the way to read it is, that the smaller number is the amount in the account immediatly after you’ve made a transfer.
C: How the fuck does that make sense!? You just need to fix this, I DON’T WANT TO LEARN HOW IT WORKS BECAUSE I’LL FORGET IT AND I’LL HAVE TO SPEND 20 MINUTES LEARNING HOW IT WORKS EACH TIME I LOG ON. I just need to be able to see how much money there was in the account before the transfer.
M: If you want to know how much money there was in the account before the transfer, you have 2 options. You can add the amount that was transfered to the amount there was in the account after the transfer. You could also look at the amount that was in the account after the previous transfer. Which would be the small number underneath the transfer right below the transfer you’re looking at.
[Sidenote: I don’t blame him for not knowing how the system works, no one knows things until they’ve had it explained. But knowing how simply it works, no adult should be confused about it]
C: I SHOULDN’T NEED TO HAVE A CALCULATOR ON ME TO LOOK AT MY ACCOUNT. AND WHY DO I NEED TO LOOK AT 4 LINES JUST TO SEE HOW MUCH MONEY IS IN MY ACCOUNT. Listen up here, I make transfers of several millions on a regular basis, and I can’t figure out how this works. Do you think anyone has a chance at figuring this out? At least 70% of Denmark has no chance at this. This must be the only thing you’re getting calls about.
In fact, of the several thousands of calls I’ve taking, he is the only person to ever have any issue with that feature at all.
M: I’m sorry you’ve struggled with this feature. It’s perfectly fine that you don’t want to calculate your earlier account balance yourself. You don’t need to look at multiple lines to determine your earlier account balance, all you need to do is look at the balance after your previous transfer, which is the small number below the transfer beneath the one you’re looking at now.
C: IT’S MORALLY BANKRUPT THAT YOU’D MAKE SOMETHING THIS COMPLICATED AND IT’S A FUCKING SCAM! Okay, I’ll go to my local bank and demand they fix the system. You need to understand, I make transfers of multiple millions and I don’t get this! IT’S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!
M: Unfortunately, your banker wouldn’t be able to change the banking portal. If you’re really unsatisfied with this feature, you are of course able to toggle it off. But there’s nothing magic or strange about it. Beneath each transfer you can see the amount that was in your account immediatly after the transfer.
He then continued to scream about how impossible and unfair the system was for a long time, with me gently explaining how the system works and how he could get the things he was looking for. This went on for 35 minutes – and honestly there’s no point in writing out any more dialogue because it’s essentially the same over and over from this point on.
Eventually it ended with:
C: Thanks for… well you didn’t help me so I won’t thank you.
M: Have a lovely day, bye
Although I think the system is very intuitive, there’s no shame in not getting it when looking at it. However, (and I hesitate to call people ‘dumb’ or ‘smart’) him repeatedly not getting it after I explained it to him, in a myriad of simple ways, really speaks to him being… a complete idiot.
But what’s so much worse than this, was his outright refusal to listen and to even entertain the thought, that the system wasn’t broken and that he simply needed to understand it.
And the cherry on top of the shit-sandwich that was the combination of his stupidity and willfull ignorance, was his absolute arrogance throughout the call. His insistence that he was somehow better than other people because he had money, and that they must also have the same problem. And his believe that he was special and that the system should be changed to fit him, rather than him putting in the absolute minimal effort to get the system.
His ableist slurs and his conspiracy theories didn’t exactly make the situation more pleasant either.
I think of myself as being very good at letting go of calls and not being affected by them after they’ve finished, but OH BOY this absolute nightmare of an arrogant, rich, idiotic asshole just stayed on my mind.
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