This has got to be one of my weirdest calls ever. I’d like to think it was a prank but this woman sounded very serious.
With a title like this you’d think it’s some creepy dude with a foot fetish. But this Karen came off as a regular soccer mom at first.
A little background. I work for a company that has several mascots for their products. Bright colorful cartoon type characters. You can buy merchandise on the website. Things like t shirts, hats, etc. With these characters on it. Well Karen wanted a pair of socks that were sold out. I happened to be the poor sucker to take her call.
Me: thanks for calling company, how can I help you?
Karen: yeah hi (obnoxious laughing. There is a lot of this at the beginning of the call) so you’re gonna think I’m crazy
Me: (trying to match her energy. Keep things light hearted) oh don’t worry. Nothing surprises me at this point (fake chuckle)
Karen: well..I’m on your *website* haha and I really want the Character socks. But it says they’re out of stock? Haha
Me: ok let me look into that for you… ah I’m sorry. Yes they are out of stock. I see we have Other Character socks though
Karen: no… it has to be Character
Me: well I’m sorry about that. I’d recommend checking back next month when the stock is replenished. We might have more by then
Karen: I just find that hard to believe. How can you be out of those socks? Can’t you check again. I know you have to have some.
(If it’s not on the website we don’t fucking have it. Do you think I’m just hoarding a room full of them for shits and giggles?)
Me: I’m sorry. But the website shows what is currently in stock. I see we have some shirts and hats with Character available.
Karen: (whole mood changed) NO! You are not listening! I need those socks! What are you going to do about it!?
Me: once again, I’m sorry but it is out of stock. I’d recommend checking back next…
Karen: (back to the sweet voice and obnoxious laughing) how about this? I’ll give you my phone number. And YOU call ME when you want to sell me those socks. Ok?
(Our call volume is ridiculously high lately and we can only offer call backs if it’s something really serious. This would not qualify and I don’t want to set unrealistic expectations)
Me: I’m sorry but we aren’t offering call backs right now. But if you check the…
Karen: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! I WILL LEAVE MY NUMBER AND YOU WILL CALL ME WHEN YOU WANT TO SELL ME THOSE SOCKS! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!
(at this point its either lie or argue my way into an escalation. I’ll promise this bitch the moon if she gets off the phone)
Me: ok. I’ll write that info down
Karen: great (provided contact info)
Me: is there anything else I can help you with?
Karen: haha… yeah… employees get free merch, right?
Me: sometimes (why the fuck did I say that)
Karen: well can you or one of the other employees sell me your socks?
Karen: I’ll PAY PREMIUM! I DON’T CARE IF THEY’RE USED! YOU HAVE TO GET ME THOSE SOCKS!
Me: (totally confused and at a loss for words) umm…I don’t think that…
Karen: I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS! A COMPANY THIS BIG CAN’T GIVE ME A FUCKING PAIR OF SOCKS!? THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT YOUR CUSTOMERS!? THIS IS THE WORST
CUSTOMER SERVICE I HAVE EVER SEEN!
I’m completely flabbergasted at this point and just kept apologizing until she hung up on me. I took a ten minute break after that to try and make sense of what just happened. This woman literally wanted me to either sell her my dirty socks or go around asking my co workers to do so.
Funny thing is, I actually do own the pair of socks she wanted. I wish I could send her a picture of them on my feet.
I hate people.