My “Any Key guy” story…

I work for a financial institution call center. This is my favorite story to tell to my fellow soldiers in the trenches, mainly because I too didn’t believe the caller was serious…

Caller is borderline irate upon opening of call, obviously VERY irritated.

Caller: I couldn’t login to your website so I restarted my computer and now all it will say is “Press Any Key To Continue” but I can’t find the damn “any” key on the keyboard!

Me:…. (internally) this MUST be someone screwing with me…haha

Caller rants about the stupidity of computers, has me on speaker, his wife in the background doing whatever. Side note: caller is DEFINITELY at an age where he grew up with computers.

Me: (dawning on me that he is serious & trying to find a way to break it to him that doesn’t sound condesending or make him feel stupid)…um…well…it means, you know…just press ANY key on your keyboard, any of them at all…??

A moment where I swear I can hear the gears clicking into place.

Caller: NOOOOOOO (with a deep guttural utterance of dismay) I’m stupid!!!!!

His wife starts hyatericaly laughing in the background, calls out “I married him because he’s handsome!”

I try to gloss over so he doesn’t feel dumb, he incompletely owns it with instant self-effacing humility, is not longer pissed off.

His wife continues to teasingly mock him in the background, he cannot apologise enough & I help him log in. Laughter & merriment is had by all.

Best. Call. Ever.

My “Any Key Guy”. I’ll never forget you, buddy! And the memory of his deep, truly gutted “noOoOoOo!!!” will tickle my funnybone for all times. 😂

What do you think?

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Do your job, Brian.

The primary reason I refuse to do phone customer service ever again.