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Why did you even answer

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I got out of collections for a bit, and then because my brain is as smooth as a river pebble, I volunteered to go back.

It’s been mostly fine. Some assholes, but no big deal. Been told to fuck my dead mother by someone who refused to verify any information, but not my credit that’s getting fucked. And I’ve had two people say “I love you” before disconnecting, which was nice in the weirdest way possible.

But on to the reason for the story. I get logged in and jump in. First call is OB and it was the customer! Great news. But it goes downhill from there. I mention we’re calling to set up a payment via an electronic check to get the account current, and he’s willing to pay! However he doesn’t have the routing and account number, but he does have a debit card.

“Unfortunately, we can’t take a card over the phone, bu”

“So you call me asking for payment but can’t take my payment because a card isn’t good enough?”

“No sir, it’s not that, it’s just we can’t take cards, how-“

“Well I’m at work on a job site and you’re calling me. I want to pay and you don’t want to take a payment. How does that make sense”

“Sir, I’d be more than happy to take a payment, I just”

“Great, let me know when you’re ready for the card”

“I still can’t take a card sir”

“So what’s your solution”

“Well, you could go down to a branch and pay if there’s one nearby, would that be a possibility?”

“No, the nearest one is an hour away and I’m at work”

“I definitely understand, another”

“You’re calling me at work, and expecting me to have this information ready when no one carries checks around, my hands are dirty. If you wanna wait, I can go wash my hands and get that information if that’s the only way you can take a payment”

“I can definitely d”

“Why aren’t you offering any solutions?! You’re calling me offering problems but no solutions! I’m at work, what are you doing”

“Sir I was trying to”

“Why don’t you get me a supervisor if you’re not going to take my payment”

“Mr. [customer] I am trying to wor”

“Supervisor or take my payment. Maybe they’re at work. What are you doing?”

“Okay sir, I’ll get you a supervisor, just be aware they can’t take a payment with a card either”

“I’m sure they can’t, get them on the line”

I do not understand people like this guy. At all. You ain’t got time to talk? Fine. Don’t answer. You wanna bitch about not providing solutions? Don’t throw a bitch fit when I don’t have psychic powers on what is feasible for you, or cut me off when I’m trying to speak. Hell, I didn’t even need to get the payment then and there.He could’ve called back or gone online later when he wasn’t “busy” at work.

I get it, I’m calling you. Collection calls are annoying. But we didn’t spend that money, and we certainly aren’t the ones who are going to be negatively impacted by it being past due. If I could take a card, I would. What makes you think I want to sit here and listen to you cry about solutions when you won’t even let me speak if there was an easy option to get you off the fucking phone?

I feel bad for the people who have to deal with him in real life. Just heaping on abuse for imaginary slights against him.

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Holding someone hostage on the phone is not a magic ticket to fixing your problem.

Escalations are easier than normal calls?