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I’m beginning to think you may not want help, sir

I work in tech support for a major financial institution. Because of the way calls are routed, we do everything banking customer service as well.

This call came to me from the regular CS line. Customer needed help setting up mobile payment in the app. Our app doesn’t support bank cards though, just credit cards, so I don’t know why the previous agent didn’t just say that, but whatever, our dep is treated as a dumping ground for hard calls all the time.

I relayed this information to the customer and recommended he used either Apple or Samsung Pay, which we do support.

Him: I can’t add the card, my card is messed up. I only have half of it so I don’t know what the CVV is.

Me: Okay then I would need to reissue a new card right away since yours is damaged-

Him: It’s going to take days for you to send it to me. I don’t want it.

Me: Feel free to step into any branch and they’ll be able to provision you a new one over the counter-

Him: I’m not doing that. The closest branch is 200km away. Last week I tried and I was stuck in traffic and by the time I got there it was closed.

(Keep in mind his card is still listed as issued, so my guess is that “last week” he also refused to have his new card sent by mail)

Me: There’s no other option sir. If your card is damaged, I need to issue you a new one.

Him: I just told you I don’t have TIME for that. I want mobile payment.

Me: Yes, which doesn’t work because you only have half of the card. You need a new card sir before you can add it to mobile payment.

Him: I don’t fucking have time to wait, I’m leaving town. Why is your customer service so stupid? What if I took all my money and put it in a [other financial institution] which DOES have a branch here? Tell me WHY I have to put up with this shit from *you guys*?

Great idea, why haven’t you done that already actually? Why inconvenience yourself and then complain that help is too slow or not accessible?

Me: I cannot tell you what or what not to do sir. I do know that your only option is to get a new card, and you specifically said that you didn’t want one by mail.

Him: Correct, and I’m also going out of town so I can’t wait for the mail ANYWAY. And I can’t get mobile to work. I don’t know why I had to explain this to 7 of you guys. This is going nowhere.

Me: Right. In that case your only option would be to visit a branch.

Him: You know what? Transfer me to the Fraud department.

Me: What for sir exactly?

Him: Haven’t you been listening to what I’ve been fucking saying? Transfer me to the Fraud department.

Me: I need to explain the situation to them first before I can transfer the call.

Him: No you don’t because you haven’t been fucking listening.

Me: Yes I do. Please monitor your language or I will disconnect this call.

Him: Whatever. Just click that little button there and transfer me to the Fraud department now. Do it since you are *clearly* not qualified to do your job.

Me: Is it related to a fraudulent transaction?

Him: YES?! Now transfer me.

I had to find a way to type out and explain the situation off of the very vague details that he was willing to provide. As I was done and about to click transfer, he said “Are you gonna transfer or just keep typing forever?”

Me: Just documenting what you said sir. These calls are monitored. Have a good one.

I used to work in hospitality. There’s a saying that goes “Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on my part”. If he had just called in to get a new card a week ago when his card was first damaged, he would have a new one by now. Don’t inconvenience yourself then call in for help only to refuse it.

What do you think?

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