No sir, we didn’t bang up your car.


Obligatory “don’t if this is the right spot”.
I work for a hardware store in their back office. I handle invoices and stuff like that, but we also handle the local hotline. So we get calls from people mostly asking “do you have this item in stock” or in covid times right now “you still open” plus some suppliers coordinating with our logistics.

We do get some weird ones though. I’m still not sure if this wasn’t some prank call from a random guy or maybe some radio station. But anyway …

Me: Hello this is [company], [Me] speaking. How can I help you.

Caller: You left a note on my car, apologising for crashing into it and that I should call this number to exchange insurance info.

Me: Sir, this is a hardware store.

Caller: Well, did you do it or what?

Me: Again, you are calling the business number of a hardware store. None of our employees are out with the company van, and I don’t think they would leave our business number if they crashed into your car in their off-time. Is it really [our number]?

Caller: No your lying. It was you!

Me: Sir, you can google it, this is the number of a hardware store. Why would I lie about that?

At this point I’m half frustrated, half amused.

Caller: Well maybe it was a relative of yours.

Me: … what?

At this point I’m just utterly confused.

Me: Again, you are calling a hardware store. I don’t know who crashed into your car. I can’t help you with that, I’m sorry.

Caller: So nobody wants to take blame for it! Well screw you.

[Hangs up]

I stare at the phone for a minute. My coworker is sitting opposite of me just holding back laughter. I’m just flummoxed. We both laugh out loud, just utterly confused by the whole call.


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Just got off the chat with an overly panicky local judge.

Entiltled makes me very tired