I did complaints for an insurance company for a while. Exclusively “stuff” insurance so not health or life or anything. Nevertheless this is a list of the more interesting things either me personally or my employer have been accused of:

– made a dudes teeth fall out
– gave a lady heammoroids (which she kept making very public social media posts about)
– giving people various cancers
– causing sleeplessness/ nightmares
– ruining the Christmases of many, many children
– putting a disabled and impoverished child’s life in severe danger (was told they absolutely had to have a car as the kid had seizures & ambulance wasn’t always fast enough, moved mountains to get them a car which they rejected BC it wasn’t big enough to tow their horse float)
– allowing a man to suffer heat stroke/ horrific quantity of ant bites (story might have gotten confused with an erotic novel he was reading BC it ended with some farmer’s wife giving him a bath?)
– encouraging miscegenation (*deep sigh*)
– cyber terrorism
– stealing “2 Kms worth of fuel” (not 2L, not $2, literally the amount of fuel required to travel 2km)


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Stop. Interrupting. Me.

Seek… medical attention??