I got a call right before I clocked out, go figure. All about an item missing from an order. And it was a shit show from start to finish.
M = me
DA = dumb ass
M: thank you for calling stupid company, my name is apples who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today
DA: I need a translator
M: alright no problem, what language do you need?
She was speaking perfect English by the way, no hint of an accent so I couldn’t even guess
M: alright please hold while I get one on the line
I dial over and get a translator
T: *introduces himself and repeats my greeting*
DA: *in perfect English and doesnt even let the translator finish* I’m missing an item from my order, and I want to know why.
M: *confused but goes ahead with authentication* alright I see you placed an order on *date* which item is missing
T: *again tries to translate*
DA: *interrupts them again* it was a toilet chair. *huffing and puffing in vietnamese*
T: *translates* she said ‘how do you not know that, are you stupid?’
M: *ignores it and checks her order* alright I just checked your order, you did not order a toilet chair
T: *doesnt even get a chance to translate*
DA: I PLACED THE ORDER AND I ORDERED ONE *ranting more in Vietnamese*
T: I cannot translate that as it is foul language.
DA: STOP REPEATING WHAT IM SAYING
M: ma’am you requested a translator and so far you’re speaking perfect English, in order to make sure other customers are receiving their needed assistance I will ask the translator drop off the call.
DA: NO I NEED A TRANSLATOR *she screams in english*
M: I’m sorry ma’am but you are not letting the translator speak and are responding in English. Translator you can drop off.
T: *disconnects from call*
DA: I WANT TO KNOW WHERE MY ITEM IS
M: ma’am you did not order this item *proceeds to read off entire order, none of which were a toilet seat. And it was a order she placed by herself on the website. With a gift card. With a remaining balance that wouldn’t have allowed her to order the toilet.*
DA: *screaming into the phone* I PLACED IT ON MY HUSBANDS ACCOUNT ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID
M: I’m very sorry ma’am you did not state earlier that this was placed on a different account. Is your husband available to give me permission to speak with you.
DA: NO HES NOT.
M: well because hes not there are you listed on his account to speak for him?
DA: YES IM HIS WIFE. IVE BEEN MARRIED TO HIM FOR 57 YEARS.
Like that means Jack shit.
M: okay ma’am, let me check and see. *gathers his information and she’s not listed* I’m sorry ma’am you are not listed on his account. You will need to get Mr. Dumb ass on the line in order for me to access his information
DA: I WANT A TRANSLATOR
M: ma’am I cannot get you a translator because you did not allow the previous one to translate. I ask again for you to please put the account holder on the line, or if he’s unavailable please call back when he is.
DA: FUCK YOU, I HOPE YOU GET CANCER