In honor of me accepting a new position in a different department within my company tomorrow, here is one of my best stories.


For context, I work for a somewhat upscale retail brand. Our company is somewhat “edgy” and we strive to be a bit less corporate than others. Essentially this means that if we get someone on the line screaming at us we can say “you screaming at me isn’t acceptable, call back a different time.” Our CS department is unique in the sense that it’s small, we have no scripts, no recorded calls and honestly things are really chill for the most part. If someone demands to speak to the manager over something we know damn well he can’t fix? We can say no. It rules.

This call took place during the fun part of 2021 when there were ice storms across the entire US, notably when Texas was frozen. Obviously our carrier was having delays. No shit. We were getting calls about late packages every 5 minutes from people who were shocked that mail carriers can’t deliver because of severe weather but this idiot was my favorite.

Me: Hey! Thanks for calling the place I work, how can I help you today?

C: my package is super late and I’m not happy about it because I needed them by today.

Me: oh no! I’m sorry about that. Can I have your order number?

He gives me his order number and I see his package is being delivered to Austin, TX. Which was in the middle of massive power outages, the roads were not drivable due to ice, people were dying in their homes from extreme cold it was like a major crisis for people in the city. (For those reading this who may have missed that or don’t live in the US.)

Me: Hey so I’m looking at the tracking and it’s showing your package is delayed due to severe weather. Our carrier, actually all mail carriers, are experiencing delays at the moment due to nationwide inclement weather conditions. Especially in Texas. I’m very sorry about that.

C: Unacceptable.

Me: Come again?

C: Not acceptable. I need these by the end of the day. What are you going to do to make that happen?

Me: Well, I can’t really do much here as UPS physically cannot deliver packages within the Austin metro area right now. I can refund you 15% off retroactively for the inconvenience but unfortunately your package isn’t getting to you tonight. (I never do this for rude people I just wanted him off the fucking line.)

C: I do not want a refund. I want my fucking package. Make this happen or I’m calling the CEO directly.

Me: Listen. If you cuss at me again I will hang up.

C: You people are so goddamn lazy. It’s not my problem you can’t deliver on time and I demand something gets done about this or I’m going to speak to someone higher up.

Aaaand this is when I snapped.

Me: So I’m assuming you live in Austin as it’s the shipping and billing address we have on file for you so I don’t know how much clearer I can be with you but I do want to ask you one thing, have you been outside in the last week in the city you live in?

C: This is insane, give me your manager you are so fucked.

Me: No, I’m not transferring you to my manager because of this. Your package will be delivered once the roads clear and it’s safe for UPS to make deliveries.

And I hung up, I told my manager about it, he laughed. The dude called back like 5 times just to scream at my coworkers before my manager took the call and “handled” it. I have no idea what was said but my managers comment on his call history was just “fuck this guy” so I assume it didn’t go well.


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I hate taking calls from people who work in logistics.

“Everyone is going to hell!”