So I work in an inbound helpdesk call centre. “How do you do this”, “I want to make a complaint”, etc. All customer service, no sales, we tell you whats what, fix stuff that needs fixing, and cry at home at the end of the day. Normal call centre stuff.
Guy: Whats your turnaround time for [product]?
Me: As per the website, three full working days.
Guy: It doesn’t say that on the website!!! I need it today!!
Me: It says it under the T&Cs- I’m very sorry but its three full working days.
Guy: But I need it today!
We go around in circles for far longer than we should have done, each repeating the same thing- neither of us budging.
Guy: Okay. What can you do for me to get this for me today?
Me: I’m sorry but I can’t? The turnaround is set in stone.
Guy: Thats unacceptable!! I’m not going to purchase it then!
There’s now a bit of a pregnant pause. He clearly thinks that I will jump on this magic statement, and – desperate to make a sale – I will move heaven and earth for him to get a product today which we actually make about £3 profit on.
However, I don’t give a shit. We don’t have a sales team or rentention team or anything like that. I’m helpdesk, I’m very good at my job, so I know – even if this guy was the nicest sweetie pie in the whole world – the turnaround time is stilll Three Full Working Days.
Me: That’s no problems. If you change your mind and need any assistance, please give us a call back!
And I hang up.