We Are Not Your ISP, Sir
Around 2 years ago, I worked for a company that managed domain names for websites and hosting packages that you can run said websites from. I hated the job, but I got a few laughs over the 9 months I worked there.
One that particularly stood out was a call with an older gentleman one day. OG – Old Guy, Me – Me
Me: obligatory greeting
OG: “Hi, my website seems to be down, do you think you can help find out what’s going on?”
Me: Authenticates him “Sure thing sir, just give me one minute.”
I do some digging and all of his stuff is paid for and there are no errors on my end, and I can even pull up the website on my end with no problem. If that’s the case, it’s basically not our problem and the issue is something that is on the user’s end.
Me: “Sir, where are you trying to access the website from?”
OG: “From our home computer. Did you find out what is wrong?”
Me: “It seems that everything is working fine on our end, I can even pull the website up with no issue, so your website is definitely up and running. There may be an issue with your internet, in which case I’d suggest calling your internet service provider.”
OG: “…I thought you guys were my internet guys.”
At first I think that it’s not too bad of a mix-up, he’s older so he’s probably just a bit confused.
Me: “No, sorry sir, we are in charge of hosting your website, but when it comes to your personal internet, that’s run by a different company. Maybe it’s something like Comcast or Times Warner?”
OG: “You lying sack of sh*t.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”
OG: “YOU’RE MY INTERNET GUYS, I CALLED YOU GUYS BEFORE TO FIX MY INTERNET AND YOU DID IT!”
Me: trying to keep my cool “Sir, you must be mistaken, we do not and never have had any services related to someone’s personal internet. We only have the ability to hold domain names and host websites.”
OG: “You’re trying to ruin my business! You don’t give a sh*t about me as long as I pay you, is that it?!”
Me: “Sir, I would appreciate if you didn’t use that language, and again, I believe you are mistaken, I-“
And he hangs up. Lovely man. I have a couple more pretty entertaining stories that I might share in the future, but yeah, this was one of the highlights.
TL;DR: Guy calls thinking we cut off his internet. We only host his website and it was working fine. Ends like you’d expect.
*Edited for better formatting