Boss: "You need to grow up, that’s some kid #@*$" Me: "How can you tell from such a blurry photo?" Boss: "I hate you so much"

**reposted due to cursing in the title, let me know if you like my new intro or if its too silly**

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In the Scam Home Warranty business, the people are represented by two separate but equally lazy groups: The Authorization agents, who deny claims and smoke like chimneys, and the customer service representatives, who need to bum a menthol really quick and maybe a ride to Quick Check after work if you’re not too busy. **CLICK CLICK**

My boss just had a kid and is out of the office for a week. The inmates are running the show. He leaves his workstation open so anyone can look at things like: average call volume, who’s absent, who’s taken the most calls, who’s done the most claims, who has the highest average auth, pretty much anything you could expect a supervisor to know is all there for you to read.

Now we play lots of juvenile games in Auth and they can become elaborate and intricate affairs of comedic misuse of company resources. Often we will hide the “finger circle” in dozens of places when someone is out at lunch but also change their password on the work station with some cryptic clue informing them that the new password is written on the back of one of papers. Another is to hide the “finger circle” in a normal picture that a technician sends in and then tag the unsuspecting victim on the claim heavily implying something is wrong, maybe the wrong auth amount or they missed a denial and some boss is pissed – boom roasted.

I’m a fan of elaborate Toto Rolls (like a Rick Roll but its Rains Down in Africa) and have emails that are formatted like perfectly legitimate office mail but by the 4th line you’re already getting blessed.

One day a call comes in for a plumbing stoppage. Turns out the customer has a septic system but didn’t spring for septic coverage and this is a house they aren’t at very often. So their basement is flooded with poo and the technician took a picture from the basement stairs and you can just see a volcano slowly oozing from the toilet into floor that’s already 2 feet deep.

I deny the claim but I keep the picture.

I send it to my boss’s intra office instant messaging system, download it from there and set it as his desktop background.

Then I play the waiting game.

Less than an hour after he got back a few days later, he screams “Who the f*ck put this on my computer?!”

I come over with a very large grin.

Boss: “You need to grow up, that’s some kid sh*t.”

Me: “How can you tell from such a blurry photo?”

Boss: “I hate you so much.”

Epilogue: he pointed out to me later on that day that I had broke company policy and it was a serious thing to poking around his computer for anything non-work related.

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​If you or someone you know has a home warranty and you wanna talk about it or something, let me know I’m happy to help you in any way I can. We denied 70% of claims, they can afford to cover one claim once in a while.