She’s Going to the FBI

I received this call about two weeks ago and I’m still curious how this is turning out for her. NB= Nutball caller. Me= me.

Me: Welcome to [Bank Call Center], my name is renderingme, how may I help you today?

NB: I just want you to know that you are the 42nd person I’ve talked to today and I don’t think you can help me because your bank’s service is terrible.

Me: I’m sorry to hear that, what issue are you experiencing?

(We’re supposed to determine how we can help the customer before we even ask for their information and some people want to be difficult.)

NB: Well, to start with, what is your name and badge number? And spell them PHONETICALLY.

Me: gives out info

NB: Where are you located? What city and state?

Me: I can only provide the state, but I am located in [State].

NB: Ok, I am going to add you to the list of 42 people I’ve talked to today and I’m reporting you all to the FBI. I have a long professional career and I know some people, so be prepared for the inquiry.

At this point I literally had to stifle a laugh. I didn’t even know this woman’s name or what her issue is at this point but, according to her, the FBI are going to look into me mistreating her over some personal banking issue. Yeah, ok, crazy lady.

NB: Now, this is how this is going to go. I don’t think customer service can help me, so you are going to get a supervisor on the phone or corporate or whoever I need to talk to to get a check issued from my account before it closes. Get whoever I need to talk to because I know you are useless.

Me: I’d be happy to help resolve this. My I have your card or account number?

NB: NO, YOU DON’T NEED THAT. I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU. GET ME WHOEVER I NEED TO SPEAK WITH, A SUPERVISOR OR CORPORATE OR THE PRESIDENT. I have a long career, I am very highly educated, and I know how this works.

Me: I will get a supervisor for you but so they can assist further may I have your card or account number? I can pass that along to the supervisor so they can better assist.

NB: NO, STOP TRYING TO GET MY INFORMATION. YOU DON’T NEED THAT. I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS. THE ONLY THING THAT SHOULD BE COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS “YES, MA’AM.” I AM THE CUSTOMER.

Me: I apologize but for the supervisor to be able to assist further, it would be easier if they had your information. May I have your name?

NB: GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR. I TALK DIRECTLY TO THE HORSE’S MOUTH. I DON’T TALK TO PEONS.

Me: One moment, please, I will reach out for a supervisor now.

I got a supervisor for her and while I was finishing up my notes, I listened in to their conversation. She refused to give her name or account number to the supervisor either. The supervisor said that information is needed to be able to assist further with her account and she screamed some more and hung up. Funny thing is, if her account is closing, her branch of account is the one that is going to issue a check and the call center can’t do shit, so why she was harassing the call center is anyone’s guess. Not that we can even tell what branch is hers without her information.

I’m still waiting for the FBI inquiry.