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Why aren’t you giving me money?

I work for a major insurer that’s doing refunds for a percentage of two months of premium. The number of calls I’ve gotten where “ONLY 15%?!” has been screeched into my ear is unfathomable. But this lady yesterday took the cake. Me – me EW – entitled woman

Me: thank you for calling XYZ, my name is frx420, may I have your first and last name please?

EW: EXCUSE ME. I heard yall were giving money back for corona and instead YOU CHARGED ME

Me: I’d be happy to check on what’s going on, if I could get your first and last name or policy number that’d be helpful.

EW: complains but relents

Me: after pulling up her policy and seeing a crazy nonpayment history and a voluntary cancelation as of 4/3/20 Yes ma’am, the amount of $xxx was your final bill as we had returned payments on such and such dates. The reimbursement will happen for policies that were active as of 4/7/20 and you canceled your policy 4/3/20, making you ineligible.

EW: SO YOU’RE NOT GOING TO GIVE ME ANYTHING BC OF CORONAVIRUS?

Me: Ma’am, the refunds are for the months of April and May. You have not had a policy with us for more than 3 days in April. I’d be happy to submit a request to reverse the payment and set up a payment plan if that last payment caused financial hardship for you.

EW: NO GO FUCK YOURSELF click

Okay, guess I’ll go fuck myself then 🤷‍♀️

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My friend said that you need to replace my phone within 3 hours!

You didn’t appease my witty needs? I want a refund for half the order now