No, we’re not going to pay your wages while you receive a call from us

[working for bank call centre, currently 20 minutes into call with “Arse”]

Me: So, do you have any preferred contact times for this complaint callback?

Arse: No, but if you call while I’m working, I’ll be charging you £60 an hour as that’s what I earn

Me: …

Me: Okay so what times do you work, we’ll avoid calling then

Arse: between 6am and midnight every day

Me: every day?

Arse: yes.

Me: Okay so we’ll send a letter

Arse: no I want call

[I can see this guy’s basic current account is currently receiving unemployment benefits and therefore presumably isn’t also working a £60 x 18 hour x 365 days = ~£400k/annum job]

Me: I’ll certainly see what they can do sir

Complaints team: immediately refute complaint, no callback, send final response (which is a letter)

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"I’m blatantly disrespectful and I’m damn proud of it."

Doing their job right.