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The Papertrail

Took calls for a now bankrupt big box retailer. Took North of 20,000 calls. I got gud.

Killed a lot of time with our internal knowledge base. Turns out there were codes for TONS of letters that we didn’t typically need in the course of business.

End the call with threatening to never do business again. SURVEY LETTER goes out. In Spanish.

Late fee complaint? Here’s your full terms and conditions.

Insist I remove your $25.00 in finance charge? I bet I credited $0.25 and reprint your statement.

So my manager comes in one day with a straight up laundry basket. Full. Of. Paper.

Do you know anything about these letters?

Turns out my sketch company didn’t issue ANY of the letters we were supposed to. They all printed remotely in an office off site. And our client finally asked why we were printing these.

I died. I pictured a room that finally burst open with print out after print out….those little sprocket sides bouncing like slinkies.

Fin.

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