Math is Hard

Call Center for Retail is amazing in that sense of finding all the failures of the education system. Now I will say that this woman sounded older, so maybe she went to school when they didn’t teach girls math. I know some grammar rules have been broken here, but most were on purpose, the rest Grammarly missed. Sorry(Not Sorry, this is a tale) that this long, I don’t do TL;DR, you’re on Reddit to read, so read!

M: Me

ML: Math Lady

Lead up: It seems we are having a sale on skeins of yarn, 3/$9…kill me now.

M: Thank you for calling . My name is OP, with who am I speaking please?

ML: I think that there is a mistake on my receipt.

M: I am sorry about that; let’s see what we can find out. With what item did you have the issue?

ML: I bought some yarn that was supposed to be 3/$9, and I was charged $3 for each one.

*I rolled my eyes so hard that I think I broke something.

M: I understand, but if they were 3/$9 being charged $3 apiece would be the correct price because 3×3=9.

ML: But they are supposed to be 3/$9, Was it only one color? I was told that I could buy different colors.

*I can no longer see, my eyes have completely rotated and are now facing the rear of my head, on a side note, my brain looks really cool, but upside down.

M: Yes, that is still correct. Each different color would have a different SKU (item) number would be different, so if you only bought one of that color, it would show up as $3 each, but if you bought three different colors, you would be paying $9 for the three since 3×3=9.

*I am getting used to a world of darkness now.

ML: But this one says that $9 and the others say $3, can I return the ones that are $3?

M: On the one that says $9, did you buy three of the same color?

ML: Yes.

*Hello darkness my old, I’ve come to talk to you again.

M: I understand. When you buy three of the same color, they are seen as one item listing on the receipt. You should see something to the effect of: “3 at 3/$9 save XX.XX” Do you see that about the one that is $9?

ML: Yes, but why are the others $3?

*I wish that my ears would roll into my head so I no longer had to listen and would be free from my call center shackles.

*Activate 2nd-grade teacher mode…

M: When you buy items, they have an SKU or Item number that identifies them in our system. Items of the same type but with different aspects such as different colors will each have their own SKU(item) number, so skeins of yarn have a different SKU for each color/brand. The sale is 3/$9 which means when you break it down that each skein of yarn is 1/3 of $9. 1/3 of 9 is 3, which means each skein in the deal cost $3. When you buy different colors, each one will be listed on the receipt as $3, or if bought two of that color, $6, but when you add it up, it still comes out to $9 for three of them For example, if you bought two red and one blue that would $6(for the two red) and $3(for the one blue) and 6+3=9. As long as the skein is listed at $3 you are getting the correct price because each set of three would be a total of $9. Do you understand?

ML: Thank you for explaining, I understand now I understand.

*My eyes have flipped back around; I can see the world again… I miss staring at my upside-down brain

M: You’re welcome.

I am pretty sure that she will still try to return the items claiming that she did not get the 3/$9 deal, but it seemed like I might have broken through that thick skull of hers. I learned my multiplication tables in the 2nd grade (my mother made me learn them over the summer and would randomly drill me on them. Take in mind my school didn’t teach them until 3rd grade.), but I was under the impression that 3×3=9 was a pretty basic thing. Yes, this is a real story, if I wanted to write fiction I would have written that I reached through the phone and hurled her into the fiery pits of hell, I might still do that, but on one of the Writing Subreddits. I get nut jobs like this all the time. When we run BOGO sales, I ended explaining what BOGO means all fucking night. I have also had to explain the number behind the BOGO like Buy 2 get 3 free, people call me wanting to know how many items they will get in total. I got off this call and thankfully, it was time for my break. I went and told my roommate the story and he reminded me of my motto, which I am thinking of getting tattooed on me: Stupidity Keeps Me Employed.

This happened last night, and I am back at work now (working from home means no one can tell me not type up or read Reddit all night.) Maybe I’ll tell you about the oops I forget it was Valentine’s day, I demand that you get me a dozen roses and two dozen chocolate covered strawberries calls I will get today.