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“Is there anything else I can do for you?” Didn’t see that coming.

Back around 2006/07 I worked in a fraud prevention call center for a large bank which no longer exists thanks to the financial crisis and Great Recession. My role was to provide secondary screening of high-risk changes made to accounts to prevent account takeover fraud or social engineering.

One day I get a call, and after I give my scripted opening, the following ensues.

Me: Thank you for calling collapsing bank, my name is P53ud0Nym. How can I help you?

Karen (name changed to protect the ignorant): Oh lord, and where are YOU from?

Now, this wasn’t that unusual — we employed many offshore 1st line call centers, which was met with mixed results.

Me: “Oh, I live in Texas.” We we’re allowed to provide the state but not the city we live in.

Karen (somehow even more annoyed): Ugh, are you SERIOUS?

Ignoring her outburst and wanting to get the call over, I proceeded to authenticate her and confirm the changes made to her account. A flag came up before I finished that some of her personal details (Country and Citizenship and Country of Residence) were missing, and the system required I acquire those details to comply with the USA PATRIOT ACT. She was very proud to be an American.

Closing the call I recap everything we’ve done and then close with “Is there anything else I can do to help you?”

Karen: “YES. Get rid of him.”

Me: “I’m sorry, who?”

Karen: “GEORGE. BUSH. All this PATRIOT ACT nonsense is driving me crazy.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s nothing I can really do about that. May is suggest contacting your local Congressional Representative or Senators for you state?”

She didn’t think it was funny.

Epilogue: My boss days later call me over to his desk in tears. He was performing call quality monitors and of all my calls picked this one and was dying laughing at my instant, matter of fact “May I suggest contacting your local Congressional Representative!”

TL;DR – Entitled Karen upset she got transferred from a non-American call center to one in Texas — demands I do something about George Bush.

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