As you all know, I work at a bank. I truly hate my call center job and am looking to break free once I have enough savings….but some of the people I encounter really blow my mind.
Here is my retelling of a call I got from a cocky young man.
Me: Hi thanks for calling __________ bank. My name is _____, how can I help you?
Cocky Caller: Yes. I assume you are doing splendid my dear. Would you mind reading my account balances to me? I’ve struck a cold and cannot foresee opening the mobile application.
Me: this is a very common request but it still bugs me that I have to read people their fucking balances when they have a million other ways of knowing it that don’t involve me Of course, I’d be happy to read your account balances today.
Cocky Caller: Splendid.
Me: Let me place you through a brief security first. What is your date of birth, etc. Etc.
caller passed security, now I start reading him his balances
Me: eyes popping slightly Your available checking account balance is $547,284.48.
Cocky Caller: Ooh, I like the sound of that number! Mind reading it again?
Me: Yes, sir. Your checking balance is $547,284.48.
Cocky Caller: Ooooh. exhales
Me: getting weirded out ….and your savings account balance is —
Cocky Caller: interrupting NO can you please repeat my checking balance, good sir? I want to hear the number again.
Me: annoyed AF. Speaking deliberately and slowly like I was talking to a dumb person. You have F I V E hundred THOUSAND two hundred E I G H T Y f o u r dollars AND F O R T Y E I G H T cents.
Cocky Caller: silent, exhaling calmly very well. that’s a lot of money, isn’t it?
Me: Sure!
Cocky Caller: I bet you’ve never seen a balance like that, before sir.
Me: ……Probably not, I don’t know.
Cocky Caller: I’m certainly the wealthiest you’ve talked to all day. Aren’t you curious as to how I got to be so wealthy?
Me: That’s great sir. Sadly there are many calls waiting so I cannot really stray off topic too much. Is there anything else I could help you with?
Cocky Caller: Oh, don’t be so shy. You’re simply jealous of me, it’s fine, I get that a lot. I’m going to tell you anyway.
Me: extremely irritated
Cocky Caller: First, it is called investing early. I was 22 and started literally bla bla bla a bunch of jargon for two minutes on how he is so fucking rich from real estate and stocks*
Me: That’s fantastic. Anything else I can help you with today sir?
Cocky Caller: I bet you’ve never seen money like mine. You can’t act so casual when you see a number that large . In a LIQUID checking account. You would gasp at what I have tied up in investments.
Me: Sir, congratulations on your money. Truly. But it is not my job to have an opinion.
Cocky Caller: Well lets not pretend you DO have an opinion on what you see. Everyone does.
Me: Sir it was nice speaking to you but I’m going to disconnect if there is nothing else I can help you with.
Cocky Caller: Sir, mind reading me my checking account balance? Oh gosh, I seemed to have forgotten to write it down!
Me: disconnects
And that Caller remains one of the most creepy, cocky, and entitled pieces of shit that I’ve had the bad luck of speaking to.
TL;DR cocky guy asking me to stroke his ego was shut down when I wouldn’t act excited over his $$$
submitted by /u/lumberjackjeanpaul
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