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My favorite worst customer

One of my favorite worse customer that I love to tell.

I work for an ignition interlock company. You know, if you get caught drinking and driving, you need to prove your sober before you can drive?!

Anyway, my first call of the shift, I had to help a girl troubleshoot on why her car wouldn’t start. Usually without troubleshooting, I can check their information and see if their battery is low. I mentioned this to her, but she was so incredibly impatient while I was trying to connect with her device, and she kept asking me if I was going to help her, or am I so “retarded” that I don’t know what I’m doing?

Because she was so impatient, I decided to go ahead with the troubleshooting steps laid out for us.

Had her disconnect her handheld for a couple minutes. While it was disconnected she continued to belittle me and the company as well.

I finally had enough and said that she can stop, since I can’t be right there, she has to help me help her.

I kept having her sample and after each sample, she felt the need to say something mean to me.

The handheld finally came back and said “batt low”. She asked me what that means and I told her that her car battery was low. She’d have to charge it.

I was actually excited for a minute because this would mean our phone conversation is done.

This wasn’t the case. She proceeds to tell me “No Sh*t you retarded b**tch! I’ve been trying to start my car since 730!” I quickly responded with “I tried to see if the battery was the issue the beginning of this call, and you were mad because I wasn’t helping you! This call could’ve ended 30 minutes ago!” She then demanded to talk to someone else. Of course throwing in a “i need someone who knows what they’re doing!” We’re not allowed to transfer calls to other reps. I kept telling her, I’m not transferring the call. I am not allowed too. She wanted my supervisor to get her car to start, and I said that he would tell her the same thing. Charge your battery!

After several rude comments later, she finally asked me what she needed to do. I told her she would have to charge her vehicles battery, once it’s fully charged, that she will need to try and start her car. If she still can’t start it, then she will need call back. Once again, I called “effing retarded” and said that a dead battery would only take 2 seconds to charge and that it wasn’t like a cell phone battery. She went inside, talked some smack about me to her mom, and asked for the battery pack. I’m so annoyed at this point that I told her “why don’t you call us back when you find the small battery pack and your battery is charged in under 2 seconds!” She told me I wasn’t going anywhere.

Here’s the best part.

She finally finds the battery pack and walks out to her car. She asked me how to open the hood. Then asked me how she puts the charger on the battery. I told her “positive to positive and negative to negative in that order!” She lets out thee biggest sigh and screams “I don’t know what that means!” So I said “RED TO RED BLACK TO BLACK!” I kid you not she says “you’re so effing retarded you’re probably going to electrocute me and my baby! I’ll just wait until my boyfriend comes home!”

Finally got her to hang up when I said “yeah. I’m the dumb one. Yet you don’t know how to connect a battery charger!” (I didn’t even care if I lost my job at that point.)

Lesson for anyone, man up and take responsibility for your actions. I am not saying everyone is perfect, but everyone knows the consequences for drinking and driving.

What do you think?

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