Lady caught in a lie

So to be brief, I work as a customer service rep for a larger retail company that broadcasts on television. Today a lady called in because she wanted to know where her refund was for two defective curling irons she supposedly returned.

Lady: I returned these two curling irons and I’ve only seen the refund for one. What happened to the second one?

Me: I apologize ma’am, let me look at those two orders and I’ll see what happened.

I look at the two orders and I see notes from multiple different reps showing where they’d already sent inquiries about the missing refund and the most recent note was the finance back office stating that there’s no proof of return showing that the second item was ever taken to the post office, that she’d need to provide proof of return for a refund, etc.

Me: Okay ma’am so it shows that the second item was never taken back to the post office. Did you use our return label or did you use your own carrier?

Lady: No, I didn’t use your return label.

Me: ..okay do you have a tracking number I can search if you used your own carrier? I just need something that shows proof that it’s not in your possession anymore.

The lady goes off on some crazy tangent now about how the product was defective and how she originally got two of them, one for herself and one for her in home nurse, and they both ended up being defective and catching in their hair. Then lets slip that her nurse actually broke hers in half in anger and threw it away after the customer told her to.

Me: So you didn’t return the second one.

Lady: What? Yes I did.

Me: You just said that the second one was broken in half by your nurse and she threw it away.

Lady: Well… yes but I returned the other one too and they need to give me both refunds because both items are defective.

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but unfortunately we’d need the product back to issue a refund.

This causes us to go around in circles about how she wants both refunds and how we should just give it to her since the item got stuck in her nurses hair anyway, me telling her there’s not a way we can issue a refund without the product back, back and forth for about 5 minutes straight.

Lady: Supervisor.

Me: ….What about a supervisor?

Lady: Get me one.

Me (and I always take great pleasure in saying this): Unfortunately all our supervisors are only taking call backs at this time, I’ll go ahead and submit your information so they can call you within the next 4 hours.

Lady: No, you’ll get me a supervisor NOW.

Me: I’m sorry ma’am but there’s no supervisor that I can get in touch with, we have to submit your information.

Lady: Well I’m not hanging up until I get a supervisor, and you better not hang up on me or I’ll be reporting you.

Me: Don’t worry ma’am, I won’t hang up on you, I’ll just fill out this form while you wait on the line so a supervisor will be able to call you back.

Lady: Don’t fill out anything, I’m not waiting that long.

Me: Unfortunately you’ll be on the phone with me the rest of the day and you’ll have to wait even longer then if you don’t let me submit your information for a call back ma’am. No one is able to transfer, it’s just the policy.

The customer starts cursing at this point, calling the company policy stupid and how things have changed so much, how she’s a great customer and to be treated this way makes her not want to shop anymore, all the typical customer phrases to try to get what they want. I’m finishing up her call back from while she’s yelling in my ear and I’m just waiting for her to start calling me names because at that point we’re allowed to hang up on them. And thankfully she does call me a little bitch, I do my exit greet that I have memorized when people start to use abusive language and I release the call happily while she keeps yelling in my ear.

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Update: The longest two weeks of my life…

Sewage is flooding the kitchen. Can we close early?