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No, you’re not allowed to run red lights because you’re “in a hurry”

I don’t exactly work in a call center, but I do spend most of my day taking calls. My job is essentially to screen potential cases for a personal injury law firm. This is the relatively brief story of one of my favorite calls I’ve taken. Me will be me, PC will be potential (or psychotic) client.

Me: Thanks for holding, this is Me, how can I help you?

PC: Yeah I need a lawyer.

Me: Ok, and what exactly do you need a lawyer for?

PC: I was in an accident.

Me: I’m sorry to hear about that. Can you tell me how the accident happened?

PC: Well see, I had just given birth and I got a phone call from my sister. She said my baby’s dad was breaking into my apartment and tearing up and stealing all my stuff while I was in the hospital. So I took my baby and ran out of the hospital. I put the baby in the back seat and started racing across town to get to my apartment and I ran a red light and got hit.

(A note: the company I work for only handles personal injury claims. Our company does, however, own a separate firm which represents for criminal defense. At this point, I wasn’t sure what type of representation she was actually seeking)

Me: Ok ma’am, so before we proceed can you tell me what exactly you need representation for?

PC: I don’t know, you tell me!

Me: Well, what our firm does is represent for bodily injury claims in accidents caused by a third party. We also ha-

PC: Wait, so are you tryin to say that just because I ran a red light, it’s my fault I got hit?

(Another note: since I am not a lawyer, I have to be extremely cautious in my wording so as not to provide any kind of specific legal advice. I am qualified to provide general legal advice.)

Me: ….uh…. well, generally speaking, yes. A person who runs a red light is typically considered to be at fault in the event of an accident.

PC: So even though they saw me coming and knew I wasn’t gonna stop, it’s still my fault?

Me: I didn’t say that, but that is typically how it works.

PC: Ok well in that case, I’m gonna change my story. So what really happened was-

Me: Ma’am, it’s a criminal offense to make fraudulent claims against an insurance company, and as such, our firm will not be able to assist you in this matter. For further assistance, I advise you contact the (State) Bar Association. Goodbye.

-disconnect-

I can’t promise that every word was taken verbatim as this occurred a few years ago. And I also, rather charitably, refined the PC’s speech in this transcript. But it’s still one of my favorite calls I’ve taken in the time I’ve been here.

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Norman Bates?

Cried bc rude customer