I’m to important to deal with my bank account

I work for a bank in the UK Let’s just call it “Last Inderect bank of Santandurrr”

Anyway – the asshat I ever had;

CM – “Customer” RC – Real Customer & me

call connects with the usual beep in my ear

Me – “Hello, welcome to -“

CM – Immediately cuts me off and tries to answer every security question that I’ve yet to ask, and hyper speed. It comes out garbled. I catch maybe 10% of what they’ve said.

Me – “Sorry I didn’t catch that. This is (my name) at Last Inderect bank of Santandurrr, can I take your post code?”

CM – “Ugh..”, then does the same thing again

Me – I’m sorry I got the first leg of your post code XY1Z. What was the rest”

CM – loudly, and slowly say “2…… A….. B” like I’m a child

Me – “and your Mother’s maiden name”

CM – “Ugh… this is ridiculous! Can you hurry up, PLEASE!? I’m. In. A. Hurry.”

Me – “I understand, I’m sorry but I will go be as quick as I can”

the system has given me a notification that the customer’s voice doesn’t match previous calls, I reset the voice check and try again – the customer gets more and more annoyed

The voiceprint still doesn’t match, so I verify her another way – she’s much more pleasant now and we get her through security

Me – “you’re now verified, my apologies for the wait, how can I help you?”

CM – “Yes, this is my boss’s account, I’m her assistant, Jess can you arrange to pay her credit cards and -“

Now I cut her off

Me – “I’m sorry did you just say that this isn’t your account?”

CM now realises she’s slipped up

CM – “Um, no. I. I said that I wanted to pay my boss’s credit card”

I tell the caller I’ll place them on hold while I check something – I listen to a previous call and it’s definitely the same person from at least 2 previous calls.

Just before I’m about to go back, I check the notes. The voiceprint hasn’t matches to our recordings for over a year

I take the customer back off hold

Me – “Thanks for holding. I’ve carried out some additional checks and concluded that you are not the account holder and unfortunately, the account will be frozen until we complete a full investigation.” -* a little bit of a lie, we just lock them out of telephone and internet banking.*

CM – “Oh god, please don’t do that, my boss will kill me! I’ve don’t it before, all the time, you’ve never said I couldn’t. My boss needs me to do this!”

the line goes quiet for about 30 seconds

RC – “Who am I speaking to!?”

Me – “This is (my name) at Last Inderect bank of Santandurrr. May I asked who is on the line.

RC – “This is (RC’s name). I understand you’ve just threatened my assistant?”

Me – “Sorry, no, I didn’t threaten anyone. I simply explained that as they were not our customer and attempting to access a customer’s account I would have to freeze the account”

I prepare for the coming rant

RC – “Excuse me!? THIS is MY account! YOU have NO RIGHT! I am a VERY busy woman and I DO. NOT. HAVE. THE. TIME to deal with things like my banking. I understand that people with less important jobs may have the time but I am just too busy. My assistant has dealt with my account for years, I couldn’t tell you how much is in the account, answer any of your security questions or anything my assistants have always dealt with it.”

Me – “I’m sorry, but unless we have a third party mandate, letter of authority or power of attorney, we cannot take any instruction from anyone other than yourself”

RC – “Well I’m giving them authority aren’t I!?”

customer then tries to argue that she’s given authority before – she hasn’t, then that she’s giving it now – but she can’t pass security

After this I explained that the customer she would need to go to a branch with some ID to get verified.

Just before parting the customer gave me a nice parting comment explains that she was sorry for being so rude, she was just upset. – As if

No, instead she said

RC – “I’ll have you know that the head of your bank’s parent company is a friend of my husband. You’ll be out of a job soon or told to call me and apologise”

Long story short, this got escalated and investigated by our complaint department. I don’t know what exactly happened during that stage but I did get feedback saying the call hand been listened to and I handled myself well – and the customer was told to find another bank.

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I want to make changes on an account that isn’t mine and start shouting when I can’t.

Wrong names customers used to call me.