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"I don’t know where I am – help." Not mine, but that of a former coworker.

We worked together for a book distribution company. “Book” is in the name.

A guy calls in and is routed to my friend:

F: Thank you for calling ——, how can I help you today?

G: I don’t know where I am – help.
F: Uh . . . sir, if you’re having an emergency please call 911.

G: No, there’s no emergency.

F: I’m not sure of how I can help you sir.

G: Well, I’m lost. I asked around and someone said you could help.
F: (Pulls up Google Maps) Alright, I can try to help you. Where are you headed?

G: I don’t know.

F: Okay. Where are you right now?

G: I don’t know for sure.

F: Can you see any signs with road information?

G: No. I’m kind of in the desert. I’m not sure which state I’m in, either.

F: Sir, I’m really sorry but I don;’t know how I could help you with this.

G: (Sounding very sad) Oh. Alright. No problem. Thanks anyway. *hangs up*

My friend was convinced that it wasn’t a prank call. Weird – but this is the place for it.

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