So does it work or not

So our call centre has several contact options; obviously phoning in is the main way, and there’s email, but we also have a live chat function.

I get the weirdest people on chat sometimes. Here’s a gem, I copied the chat log verbatim because this was just so strange. I put a few of my own real-time reactions in parentheses and italics. Information redacted to protect everyone’s identity.

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Chat started 4:39 PM System 4:39 PM Please enter your first and last name.

Customer 4:39 PM [name redacted]

Customer 4:40 PM Do you guys work in Canada

Me 4:40 PM Hi [customer], this is [me] from [company] Customer Care. I’m not quite sure what you mean, are you referring to whether our physical location is in Canada?

Customer 4:41 PM Does [company] Work in Canada is what i am asking (being a Canadian company I would fucking think so, dude)

Me 4:41 PM Well, anywhere outside [our coverage area], we roam with [big carrier], so you would have coverage anywhere [big carrier] does.

Customer 4:41 PM So does it work or not (oh my god)

Me 4:42 PM That depends on what [big carrier]’s coverage is like. Is there a specific area you’re going to be in? I can check our coverage map to be sure.

Customer 4:42 PM Sure

Customer 4:42 PM I live in North America Canada (OH MY GODDDDD)

Me 4:43 PM OK, but where in Canada? I need a specific location to check our coverage there.

Customer 4:43 PM what do you mean?

Customer 4:43 PM Like postel code? (ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME)

Me 4:44 PM Maybe I’m not understanding what you’re asking. We provide service through our own network from [our coverage area], anywhere else in Canada would be on [big carrier]’s network. If you’re asking if we have coverage in a specific location, I would need to know where so I can check. Just a city name would be fine.

Customer 4:44 PM Valleyview AB Canada

Me 4:45 PM OK, it looks like [big carrier] does have coverage in Valleyview, so [company]’s customers would also have coverage there.

Customer 4:46 PM Can i get service from here from [company]?

Me 4:47 PM If your primary residence is there, then we would not be able to provide service to you there. CRTC regulations state that we can only provide service to customers whose residence is within our serving territory.

System 4:49 PM Chat session ended (wat)

Chat ended 4:49 PM