This call today left me speechless for a moment. Then all I could do was laugh. I made my manger listen to it because this lady was just so dumb it was entertaining. This maybe a “you had to be there” thing, but I loved it.
So call starts out really nice, then goes south fast.
Me “Hi, thank you for calling [Bank Name] this is CosmoLife from [Location] can I have your name please?”
Wackadoodle: “Hi CosmoLife! Merry Christmas! This is Wackadoodle!”
Me: “Thank you! Merry Christmas to you too! How are you today?”
Wackadoodle: “Well I was doing well till I got this email telling me that my account is under $25! I have over $100,000.00 in the bank! The automated voice even verified my balance and it’s over $25 What is all this about?!”
(We send out emails whenever someone’s account goes under $25. It says something along the lines of “We want to let you know, your balance is getting low and is under $25. If you can, we recommend depositing funds to avoid any returned items for schedule payments”)
Me: “Oh goodness, definitely understand the concern there, allow me just a moment while I take a look at this for you.”
Wackadoodle: “Okay thank you.”
(Keep in mind she just told me she has over $100k in her account and she’s upset about this email.
I look over her accounts and see she only has about $4,700 in her checking and her savings is now at zero. I click into the savings an see a “hold” for $97k on her account.
I panic for this poor woman. It appears to be a processing transfer out of the bank, but does have her name on it.)
Me: “Hi Mrs. Wackadoodle, just a moment here. I am still with you. I’m just going to have someone take a look at this with me here.”
(I place her on hold, pull another system, see it is definitely a transfer of her entire savings account out to a Chase bank account.
Now I’m like “Oh god, I hope this is hers and maybe she forgot. If not, I’m going to have to be the one to tell this poor older woman someone is trying to fraud her and take the money from her account on Christmas Eve.)
Me: “Hi Mrs. Wackadoodle, thank you for your patience. Did you make a transfer out of the savings account for the entire balance, to Chase bank?”
Wackadoodle: “YES I DID! SO WHAT IT’S MY MONEY! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT! IT’S MY MONEY!!! YOU AREN’T GOING TO TELL ME HOW TO USE MY MONEY.!”
Me: “Okay, no one said that you can’t. I am verifying that it was you.”
Wackadoodle: “Yea! Well it was!”
Me: “Okay. That’s why the email came. That account went to a ze——-“ …I get cut off.
Wackadoodle: “I’M NOT AT A BALANCE BELOW $25! I still have $4,700 in my checking!”
Me: “Yes, you do. This email however is account specific and references your savings.”
Wackadoodle: “YOUR BANK IS THE WORST! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME ABOUT MY BALANCE?! I KNOW MY BALANCE!”
Me: “It’s just a system generated email Mrs. Wackadoodle. Anyone in the bank gets this email if their account drops below. We are trying to help people avoid fees in case they didn’t know the balance was getting low. So they don’t have returned items or fees.”
Wackadoodle: “YOU DON’T THINK I WOULD KNOW THAT I TOOK $97,000 OUT OF MY ACCOUNT?!”
Me: “No. I’m sure you would know if you did that. But some people may have smaller accounts with only $100 or so, and not be aware it dropped under. That is what this email is trying to help with. It comes out any time any account goes under $25 regardless of the transaction that caused it to fall below.”
All pissy she makes a loud huff then yells condescendingly
Wackadoodle “OH REALLY?!” * hangs up *
…why are you still saying you have $100k in your account when you transferred it out yesterday? Then can’t understand the the email where the first line literally tells you the account number, is account specific?
submitted by /u/CosmoLifexx0