"I don’t have access to your cart" – When frustration leads to laughter

This lady wants us to update the cart for her. We do not have access to customer’s carts. I know some companies do. I worked with a company who did (and that was a game changer AND a time saver). BUT the system we are using here is so limited and very “privacy” based, short of her giving me her password to go into her account (which I AM NOT comfortable with asking for), I cannot do this for her. I did not start dealing with this lady. One of my reps was. I ended up on this e-mail chain because they had NO IDEA how to get through to her, and help her understand “We do not have access to your cart.” I’ve been dealing with this for a day now and it feels like weeks.

The gist of the e-mail chain is just a lot of back and forth. And I tried. Oh, did I try. And today was just gold. I shortened the e-mails to their main points, because….* *sigh* *:

Me, in my last communication with her yesterday: I checked with our techs, the site is working fine. Tested it myself, too. You should be able to place the order and update your cart. If it keeps giving you trouble, just let us know. Please let us know a number to call and we’ll place the order by phone.

Her, this morning: I just need you to change the quantity on a few items. Please do that and I’ll place the order myself.

Me: I don’t have access to your cart. Can I call you to place this order?

Her: I just need you to update my cart. I can’t do it. You need to do it.

Me: I’d love to, but I can’t. I would need to call to place your order.

Her: You don’t need to call. You just need to update the cart.

Me: I. Can’t. Update. Your. Cart.

Her: What do you mean? Why don’t you want to help me?

Me: Ma’am, I’m trying to. We don’t have access to customer’s carts. Until you place the order, I can’t see what is in your cart. I honestly only have one option. Can I, for the love of god, have your phone number, so we can place the order by phone. I just need a phone number and we can get this done.

Her (verbatim e-mail): “No. I don’t trust giving my personal information to strangers. You’ll steal it and use it to place more orders WITHOUT MY PERMISSION. I want to place this order online, so I can trust my information won’t get stolen by an employee. So you need to update the cart, so I can place this order. TODAY.”

By this point, I’m fuming. My hands are sweating, because I can’t just ignore her e-mail. Then, I start laughing so hard, I’m crying. Which worried my co-workers. They thought I lost it. I thought I lost it.

So for the remainder of the day, in my office, I declared to everyone: “Look, I just need you guys to update my cart, so I can place this order myself.”

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