Today is good day

Why? Because it’s shut off day!

We are ridiculously lenient about paying on time. Ridiculously. Two of the 3 people I’m probably going to shut off today haven’t paid us a dime since March & the other hasn’t since January. The reasons this has gone on so long are equally ridiculous & mostly have to do with our Old Marketing Guy.

These 3 have been warned, twice, that they need to pay up by 3pm today or there will be an unfortunate disruption of their service. The company is a small local ISP. None of these people can get another provider though there’s a chance they can hot spot depending where they live, so I am taking away what is apparently the single most important thing in their lives.

Not important enough to pay for, but you know, necessary to live IMPORTANT anyway. And they are all IMPORTANT people! They know the OWNER! (oh nos…)

Yeah. See, the owner and I have had a few chats about these 3 and several others up for the chopping block next week (already had their 1st warning today) and this is why today is a good day.

You know all those things as a CS person you would love to say to a rude customer? I have permission to SAY THEM! (as long as they’re rude and the closer we get to the deadline the more likely they will be because ISP customers are like addicts and I am taking their supply away from them)

“Oh, you NEED internet? Well, we NEED the money.”

“You want to speak to the boss? The boss and I have already discussed this and he agrees this is what you need to pay now to keep your service on. No. I’m not going to transfer you to him. Oh, you know him personally? Great! I’ll tell him to expect a call on his personal line shall I? No, I’m not going to transfer you anybody else either.”*CLICK*

60 seconds later…

“Oh hi again! Yeah, no one else here is going to talk to you about this. I’m it.”

“Sir you owe us $2000, at $200 a month. You are not on auto pay, you have never been on auto pay, so we have not been auto debiting you all this time. I’m sorry that’s what you thought but you’ve never given us your card number.”

“Sir, it isn’t on me to manage your bills for you and we’ve been mailing you invoices and statements showing you the outstanding balance for months.”

“Well, sir if that’s how you feel about it you can tell it to the judge. Your service is terminated and we’ll see you in court.”

The non-rude ones grumble a bit & pay up because internet=crack.

But I admit to enjoying turning off the rude SOBs who wait until 15 minutes before the deadline they’ve known about for a week to pull the “I’m a VIP and YOU WILL keep my internet on” bullshit.

submitted by /u/Im_not_the_assistant
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