What do you want me to do, hang myself?

Hey all you lovely people, all the usual LTL, FTP, on mobile etc etc.

This tale comes from a call I had with a taxi dispatcher I had a few years back.

My now ex girlfriend and I had tickets to a rugby match in central London. We planned to get the train up at around 11am, and I booked a taxi to take us to the station at 10:30. The booking went through as expected, but come 10:30 there’s no taxi waiting outside. That’s fine, traffic or whatever can cause delays and I have no problems waiting a few minutes.

10:45 rolls around and still nothing, I’m slightly agitated at this point so decide to call the dispatcher to find out what’s going on. The conversation went something like this, D will be dispatcher (the same guy as the one that took the booking) and I’ll be RB.

RB: Hey buddy, I had a taxi booked for 10:30 and it’s still not arrived, what’s going on?

D: I’ll have a look for you…

RB: This is a bit of a joke, why has there been a delay like this, my girlfriend and I have somewhere to be

D: There’s no record of the booking

RB: You took my booking about 45 minutes ago

D: I forgot to put it through

RB: Well that’s a problem, you’ve caused a real hiccup to my day

D: Well I’m sorry I’ve ruined your day, what do you want me to do about it, hang myself?

At this point I burst out laughing, I just wanted to know where my taxi was and he’d threatened to commit suicide.

RB: Its really not that deep man, have you dispatched a taxi or not?

D: It’s not my fucking fault, you can’t blame me for ruining your day, I’ll dispatch your fucking taxi now

RB: Cancel it, I don’t need it anymore, you’ve fucked my day up enough as it is

I’m sure there was more said between us, it was a long time ago but that’s the gist

TL;DR I book a taxi, it doesn’t turn up, dispatcher asks if he should kill himself as recompense for forgetting to log my booking