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I intentionally defrauded the IRS, but not for that much!

This is actually from outside the call center, so apologies if against the rules

It does involve a call center (kind of, the background noise sounded like one)

Anyways. This happened a few hours ago.

I recieved a voicemail today, they left a call back number: 479-777-9740. I listened, thought to myself “this is gonna be fun” and called back.

A man answers. I tell him I’m returning a call about a concerning voicemail I received.

You guys know what this is, already.

Man: Yes, we are calling you concerning a matter with the IRS. This is the IRS tax court, we have been given your file in regards to a discrepancy with your income taxes.

Me: My income taxes? What about them?

by the way, that’s the actual number, go nuts

Man: Your taxes were flagged as suspicious, and upon further review there was a large discrepancy and that has been forwarded to the IRS tax court. I wanted to reach out to you to let you know so you are prepared.

Me: That can’t be, what kind of discrepancy?

Man: Between 2012 and 2018, a total of $8200 in deductions were fraudulent..

This goes back and forth for a little while. I’m becoming more and more concerned with each charge being brought against me. The man tries to help me.

Man: You sound like a good person. These things happen because taxes can be confusing and it’s simply a human error. Right?

Me: What do you mean?

Man: Your file was fowarded to me for final review before we proceed to charging you in IRS tax court. We need to determine if it was intentional or just a simple mistake on your part. What was it?

Me: I mean, I intentionally lied on my taxes, who doesn’t? But..it was only for $2000, I didn’t intentionally defraud you guys for over $8000!

He doesn’t know what to say at this point.

Me: I’M SORRY. I’M SORRY. I WON’T EVER DO IT AGAIN!

So we discuss options to pay this today so I don’t get charged for a mistake I made unknowingly. I kept reminding him that I knowingly did so for $2000 and kept asking if it was a crime because I only lied about a little and not what they thought.

I eventually get bored, so I ask him to look at the industry I work for. He said he doesn’t have that information, I insist he does and that it’s on page 2. He says he didn’t receive page 2. I tell him I’m a CPA (I’m not, obviously. Pretty sure whatever page 2 is has a name a CPA would know) He falters. Tries to regain composure to give me instructions on how payment can be made. I chime in with

“So you want Google play or iTunes? Seriously though, you must have a bitching music library with all that iTunes credit. Totally jealous”

He starts speaking his language, I ask him if he always gives up that easily. Tell him that he should try a legitimate call center job, because he would be genuinely good at it.

Man: thanks

Me: But you’re still fucking scum.

What does he do?

HE PROCEEDS TO HIS CLOSE.

Man: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, I hope you have a great day.

submitted by /u/NoddyBowWow
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Your ex wife is calling….

I don’t use my middle name.