“I want this resolved TONIGHT”

I work for [company you can buy stuff from] as a customer service drone. While I think I’m pretty good at my job, I can’t do the impossible, which is what this customer (Cx) wanted.

insert call center opening

Cx: my package was supposed to arrive today but it didn’t.

Me: Oh, I’m so sorry! Let me see what’s going on.

Now, at this point, naive little me thinks the customer is a reasonable individual. I check the tracking and USPS marked it delivery attempted. It’s too late to reach USPS by phone but they have an online delivery form.

Me: Ok, it looks like the post office scanned this as delivery attempted. Their customer service has closed for the night, so I can’t give them a call, but I can send you a link to the re-delivery form and-

Cx: Just. Stop. Talking. They did NOT make a delivery attempt. There was someone home all day, someone took a day off of work. We NEED this package tonight.

Me: I absolutely understand and will file carrier feedback regarding this. The earliest this package can get to you is tomorrow.

Cx: No. we needed this package TONIGHT and I want this resolved TONIGHT.

Me (getting exasperated, because this isn’t how carries work): Ma’am, I have no way to do that.

Cx: Get me to a supervisor who can do this TONIGHT

Me: Sure, one sec!

Immediately place the customer on hold and get on the escalation line. Explain the issue.

Supervisor: Yeah, no, we can’t do that.

Me: I know, I told her that. She requested a supervisor.

Supe: ok, send her through.

I totally understand wanting your package when it was supposed to get there. What absolutely floors me is customers who ask us for stuff that is literally impossible.