I AM THE PLAN MAGICIAN!!!

I started lurking here after I started working Teir 1 tech support in a call center that belongs to a certain group of nerds with a blasted 1800 number. This got a little long, tl;dr at the bottom. Also, can’t figure out flair, my b homie.

My job was mostly to troubleshoot and if that didn’t work, pass it on to Teir 2. I was doing my thing, waiting for my shift to end when I get a call. At first it’s a normal call about a certain coverage we offer for devices that plug in and light up and why she was playing X when she use to pay Y.

Upon further digging, I find a PLETHORA of coverages that have been transferred from one device to the next as she swore they didn’t work (I suspect user error) and took them back. Plus one that only covers anti virus protection and another that only covers software on a different device. Apparently, at some point she had purchased a plan (~149 annually) that covered one device for hardware and software issues, then the other plan (~99 annually) that covered software issues for up to 3 other devices. Plus she had been roped into purchasing an add-on hardware coverage because of the type of device she had purchased with the software coverage. (Though according to her, she was “being nice and giving them an extra $100 cause she’s just SO generous” 🙄)

So currently we have 2 (technically 3 cause the hardware damage add on is an extra $100) plans covering 2 devices, both for hardware and software in some shape or form. Also there’s the anti virus plan (~49 annually) Expensive? Kinda but you can add other types of devices to the software coverage and it’s also not my fault you didn’t read what you signed 4 years ago. I’ve only been here 2 months lady.

I did explain there was a plan that would kinda of do what she wanted but she would pay a reduced price for hardware issues. However, she’d also get coverage for basically anything that is tech based, regardless of where she bought it, what it is, so on and so on.

After finally getting through (HA!!!) to her what was and wasn’t covered by what, she decides that I need to MAKE HER A SPECIAL COVERAGE PLAN THAT COVERS BOTH DEVICES FULLY and she didn’t want to pay a cent more. She didn’t care if “I had to make one up for her but I needed to go onto my little computer and give her what she paid for”. giiiiirl

By this point my narc radar was urging me to “nope!” and promptly had me clock out the situation since A) that’s not how this works and I’ve definitely explained how it does 2) you don’t demand I do anything. Fourthly) I’ve been explaining the same 3 plans for 1 hour now and then spent another .5 listening to you prattle on about how nice you are. Red) I can no longer help you since I can explain plans but even if I could do what you wanted, my department can’t take payments, you gotta go to billing.

I had been trying to get her over to billing for about 45 mins cause they’ll usually have more info on things of that nature but she had that narc selective hearing so that wasn’t possible. (Did NOT understand that she couldn’t make her own plan or it’d have been an option)

FINALLY, she heard what she wanted I guess and let me transfer her but Jeez, know what you sign up for lady.

And she did this crazy laugh everytime she mentioned how generous she was for “giving” an extra 100. For hardware protection.

I apologize to whoever had to deal with her but 1.5 hours (supposed to be >20mins) cause she won’t take no for an answer and everyone who’s supposed to be helping me keeps telling me to just “deal with her and get her transferred”. I just couldn’t.

And I get it was expensive but there’s literally nothing I can do but empathize and try to find a decent solution. I may be magical, but I can’t pull that out my cauldron, my hat or my ass.

TL;DR get told to make a special coverage plan with my magical computer cause narc doesn’t care to understand or accept what she paid for. And I love the mute button cause rage.