No Wi-Five

I posted this on r/talesfromtechsupport but it fits here too.

This story happened when I was still frontline support and not in the mentor position that I am in now; so roughly last year. It is currently a very slow Sunday night and I just thought of this story. Essentially, this woman’s (W) Wi-Fi Wi-Five had cut out and she lost connection. Here’s how the call went from what I can remember.

Me: Thank you for calling ISP, this is–

W: I have no Wi-Five!!

Me: I’m sorry to hear that. I need to authentica–

W: (Cuts me off) I am W, my date of birth is xx-xx-xxxx and I am at address.

Me: Perfect, so you don’t have any Wi-Fi. Let’s see what we–

W: It’s Wi-Five.

Now, I’ve never heard Wi-Fi referred to as Wi-Five, so I was a little confused but did not want to argue so, I began calling it as she wanted. My other coworkers began laughing.

Me: Okay, so your Wi-Five isn’t working. Did you do anything different than you normally do when trying to connect?

W: What does connect mean?

Me: internally Here we go.

Me: Did you do anything different than usual when you used the Wi-Five just now?

W: No, I usually just go on my tablet and it’s there but it’s gone and I can’t get on Facebook or my games.

Me: Okay, are you able to go into the settings of the tablet?

W: Where’s that?

Me: It should look like some gears on your screen.

W: But my screen’s black.

Me: Wait, what?

W: Yeah, it’s black.

Me: minor facedesk Can you please turn it on?

W: Do I just press the button on the top?

Me: Yes.

W: it’s not working.

Me: medium facedesk Is it charged?

W: Oh, right. This tablet needs to be charged in order for it to work. Silly me!

Me: colossal facedesk Ah, so it must be dead?

W: Let me charge it.

Me: Take your time.

W: My Wi-Five works now! Thank you.

Me: Great! Can I assist you with something else?

W: No thank you. click

It made me question how long she sat there with a tablet that had its battery drained expecting it to come back on…