Working customer service for a cell provider, usual billing calls, basic website support and what not. After 5 failed login attempts with the wrong password, the account is locked online. At the time we didn’t have a reset period. Our policy in such case was to have the customer go to a retail location with ID to prevent fraud.
Me = me Customer = A Security Specialist
Me: blah blah blah greeting
ASS: I’m locked out of your website and I need to make a payment.
Me: How many times did you try to log in? (Hoping it was fewer than 5)
ASS: I don’t know, a lot. I need to make a payment today or my service will be shut off.
Me: If it was more than 5 attempts you’ll just have to go to the nearest retail location with your ID and we’ll get it reset. (I pull up the store locator and see they are less than 5 miles from the nearest store.)
ASS: I don’t have time for that! I’m a very busy person and my time is too valuable. I need my service or I’ll lose thousands of dollars in business.
Me: I can take your payment over the phone and you can go to the store when it’s more convenient for the reset.
ASS: I NEVER give that out over the phone.
Me: I can understand why you want to protect your credit information, however if you won’t go to a store it’s the only other alternative.
ASS: This is a scam! I don’t know you or anything about you. You’ll have all my information and can do whatever you want with it.
Me: Well, you did call in on the company customer service number. I can assure you we take payments this way many times each day.
ASS: How much are you going to compensate me for my time? Every hour I lose thousands of dollars.
I had the option to provide a token credit for many reasons, but unfortunately being a total asshat isn’t one of them.
Me: I’ve given you the available options, but none of them seem to satisfy you. We have these procedures in place for our customers’ protection. Certainly you can understand since you’re concerned about security yourself.
ASS: I understand you’re a jerk and just want my credit card number.
Me: Only if you don’t want your service disconnected.
Me: If you continue using that language I’ll have to disconnect our call.
ASS: Go ahead, you @#$%&
One of the more satisfying discos I’ve done.
Why can’t all these high-rolling customers that are worth thousands of dollars an hour take care of the most mundane things? You don’t think they’re lying, do you? Nah, never OUR customers.
Addendum; I checked the account the next day. They did go to the store and made the payment in person, with their freaking credit card.