You can take a man out of Belfast, but you can’t take Belfast out of the man.

I live in Northern Ireland (colloquially known as “Norn Iron”), a place with a lot of sectarian feuds.

I had a customer who made a claim. I checked his background, he’s in his mid 20s, has an MBA from an English university, worked a couple of years in England as an accountant, has a fair bit of savings and a relatively profitable online business. I thought he would be a reasonable person since he doesn’t need his money urgently. Wrong.

I needed some verification, so I asked him to send them to my office. Two weeks later, it did not arrive. The customer was irate because he thought that I lost his confidential documents.

In the beginning of the call, he spoke in a posh accent but it turned into a Belfast one the moment he got mad.

C= customer

Me: “Hi Mr. C, I am afraid that I haven’t received your documents.”

C: “I have sent it two weeks ago. How could you lose it? It has confidential information.”

Me: “I did not lose it, I just didn’t receive it.”

C: “I will send you a second copy, but I will be talking to my lawyer and the police about this. I have a recording of the call and I will use it against you. You better find it or else.

If you stupid Paki (I’m not even Pakistani or Indian) fookin dare to stand between me and my money, I know people in the paramilitary all over Norn Iron. I know your name and I know where you work. Mark my words.” Slams down phone

A week later, the second copy of verification arrived, with a letter threatening to sue me and report me to the police for identity fraud if I do not return his call within 30 days. I searched the office high and low, and I finally managed to find the first set, which was filed away by mistake.

I tried to call him and he blocked my number. Great. I had to escalate it to my manager, who had to argue with him that losing confidential documents is not the same as identity fraud. I would need to actively pretend to be him order to be considered identity fraud.

Apparently he called her a fenian because she has an Irish last name and was complaining that the Irish and foreigners are infiltrating the British government. After a long rant about Republicans, he agreed to drop charges. My manager told me that guy might have a mental problem. He is now on the black list.

I got the last laugh: Turns out he wasn’t entitled to any money because his income exceeds the limit.