Why can’t I get into Facebook?

So I’m currently on this call…someone save me…Can I hang up on an old lady??

I work in internet repair for a distinct well know ISP. I get lots of ridiculus calls, but this one is the winner for the day. I will be ME and she will be OL

ME: thanks for calling ISP! How can I help you?

OL: I can’t access my Facebook?

ME: (oh lord) Are you having any trouble accessing any other website or is it just Facebook?

OL: Just Facebook.

ME: (totally not my prob) Well if it’s just the Facebook website that you can’t access it may be an issue with the website or app you are using.

OL: It’s not letting me login and I don’t know my password.

ME: (Now this is where I fuck up, I should’ve kept my mouth shut) There should be a link to retrieve your password.

OL: starts mumbling

ME: Is there anything else I can help you with today?

OL: You stay right there. I pay a lot of money and I need you to be patient with me.

ME: I would like to be able to help you further, but I don’t know anything about how facebook’s system works.

OL: mumble mumble

Now at this point there is a few minutes of her mumbling and me not saying anything to her. I jump on reddit to find some solace.

ME: Is everything alright? Is it working for you?

OL: Scoffs I think you are going to stay right there until I get this.

ME: I don’t mind staying on the line, I just don’t see how I can be of service to you, I don’t even have Facebook (totally true).

OL: mumbles on about not getting the code to reset pw

This woman is seriously killing my AHT and my nerves. At this point, I’m uselessly trying to steer her in the right direction. The blind leading the blind.

So far it’s been 33 minutes and I don’t see an end in sight.

Someone send help.

EDIT: formatting and adding EDIT.

UPDATE: So it took 55 minutes of repeating myself that I know nothing of Facebook and can’t help her before she begrudgingly allowed me off the phone. Luckily, it was my last call, so I got some OT dealing with OL.

I definitely need to find an escape route if things get repetitive and long.

Oh! I forgot to add. The reason she wanted to get on Facebook: it was her birthday yesterday and she knows she’s got messages. I bet they all said “Happy Birthday!!”

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Thank you IT for making Reddit available on the intranet.

Caller truly believes she is the doctor’s only patient..