The time a customer threatened to hold my lamb hostage

My name is Mary. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked, “why are you so contrary?” and “where’s your lamb?!” I wouldn’t mind hearing it so much because I’d be getting paid for it. However, one such occasion does stand out to me, while the rest kind of blur together. This happened several years ago, but Facebook’s “On This Day” reminded me of it. I’m me, customer is FG, for Funny Guy.

Me: “I see the issue with your (insurance) claim, and it looks like a system issue caused the payment to be delayed. I’m sorry for any inconvenience.”

FG: “What! Ah, that technology, I tell ya.”

Me: “I heard that. But I will have this corrected for you, and will make sure it’s done properly.”

FG: “How long will this take?”

Me: “We have a 5 to 7 business day turnaround time.”

FG: “Aaaaah, what! So it’ll take over a week to have this corrected?”

Me: “Hopefully it won’t take the full time, but that’s what we can promise is the maximum amount of time it will take.”

FG: “It’s Mary, isn’t it?” (I confirmed)

“All right, well tell your boss that I’m gonna hold your lamb hostage until my claim is paid!” Then he cackle laughed and we wished each other a good day. Well, except for my imaginary lamb, it probably wouldn’t be having a good day.

Not even mad, because it was adorable. Not all customers are cantankerous jerks, thankfully.

submitted by /u/MaryLovesScary
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Free Talk Friday – Mar 9