How some people get to be in charge of accounting, I will never know. Amounts changed for simplification.

Caller: I have a problem with a check you guys sent us, it isn’t adding up.

Me: Oh, that’s not good, give me the check number and let’s have a look. pulls up info I see it’s in the amount of $400, what are you showing that it should be?

C: $500.

Me: Alright, so looks like you had 2 items that are payments we were taking back in the amount of $100, did you see those? That’s why your check was only $400.

C: Yeah, why are you taking payments back?

Me: research Looks like there’s a couple of items the company is disputing. We’ve taken payments back because no one has answered our calls or letters so we could have you send us the proof we would need to allow you to keep the payments.

C: Well they’re wrong, and that’s not fair!

Me: We did try repeatedly to reach out. No worries though, I just need to get you to that company’s rep to find out what our options are at this point. Would you like to speak to them?

C: Yes, but before that, my check still doesn’t add up.

Me: Yes, items we have paid previously are being taken back, so the check is shortpaid. You will need to make some adjustments to balance your books until this situation is resolved.

C: It’s not just that!! It should be $500!

Me: Miss, there are a total of ten items being paid at $50 each, which IS $500. However, there are two items being deducted at $50 each, which gives you $400.

C: That doesn’t make sense.

Me: Well…. Think of it this way. Two of your $50 payments are being voided by the deductions, so it’s as if you’re being paid for eight items at $50, which is $400.

C: But there are ten.

Me: Correct…. ten payments and two deductions. The deductions are being offset by two payments. Ten minus two is eight.

C: Nine.

Me: I’m sorry, did you just say nine?

C: Yeah, ten payments minus one deduction.

Me: …..There are two deductions……

C: Can I just get a new check without all these minuses on it?

Me: No, that would throw off our accounting, these are items your business currently owes, and the only way we can take them back is from your payments. That’s like asking us to just cover the $100 you owe to this other company.

C: I’m not good at this. Can you wait while I ask my boss?

Me: Sure.

Boss thankfully takes over, and understands me completely. They ask to be transferred to resolve the dispute, and as I start to transfer the call, I hear the boss covering the phone and saying “So there are ten payments…….”

Good luck, buddy.

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Y’all let me tell you about Kimberly!

I very rarely become frustrated with a caller but Emily was really special. No rationale whatsoever.