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Misogynistic, probably bored middle-aged man irate when I can’t do the impossible. (L)

LTL, FTP. This wasn’t my first nightmare call, but it was definitely my worst.

At the time, I worked as a retention agent for DirecTV, just keeping customers from switching to another company and all that jazz. We usually dealt with the assholes. This day was obviously no exception.

I didn’t even get to finish my opening before the caller, a guy probably in his mid-50’s, started his fuss.

Me: Hello-

Caller: Here we go again. Don’t even start with me and don’t ask me to verify my account. Your last supervisor was a dumb c*nt and I didn’t verify my info for her either so don’t even ask.

Me: /eyeroll/ Alright sir, but since you can’t verify your information I can only assist you with simple account questions.

Caller: Well, princess, all I have is a simple account question that none of your other agents or supervisors can answer. But you will.

Me: I will try my best, sir. (trying to stay chipper)

Caller: What is the exact date you will be adding streaming services?

(We hadn’t set a date for that, yet. I told him as such.)

Caller: No. You know the date. You just won’t tell us. I’m calling your bluff, princess. Tell me when the exact date is that you will be adding streaming services.

Me: I’m sorry sir, I do not have that information.

Caller: Give me the number for your CEO.

Me: We do not have that information available-

Caller: Yes you do, give me the number Me: Sir, I’m sorry, we do not, I can give you an address-

Caller: I asked for the number, princess.

Me: I’m sorry sir, but my name is enkayohteebee, can you please refer to me as such?

Caller: I will call you whatever I damn well please, Princess.

Me: Sir I am trying my best to assist you, can we please keep the conversation civil?

Caller: I will give you an ultimatum, princess (yes, these were his exact words. i was furious at this point, and actually silently angry-crying) either a) you give me the answer to my question, b) you give me the number for the CEO, or c) you tell me “F*ck off, I don’t feel like working on a Saturday because I am lazy and stupid.”

Me: I will not say that, sir.

Caller: Then give me the answer or the number.

Me: I do not have that information, sir.

Caller: Then tell me to f*ck off.

Me: I’m sorry sir, but no. I would like to keep our conversation civil.

He kept telling me to tell him to f*ck off. Maybe it was some way to get me in trouble or maybe it was a weird fantasy, I don’t know. This went on for TWO HOURS. And it only did because we are not allowed to hang up or transfer without customer permission and he refused to let me transfer to a supervisor. He literally stayed on the phone for two hours verbally abusing me.

Finally my team leader listened in for a while, understood what an asshole this guy was and had a supervisor on the floor take my headset and resume the conversation. I was in tears, not because he had hurt my feelings, but because he frustrated me to no end. Took my lunch and ended up taking the rest of the day off. Luckily it was my Friday, so woo! Long weekend.

Oh, he called my supervisor Princess too. Which is funny, because my supervisors name was Kevin, and had an unmistakably deep masculine voice. He stayed on the phone with Kevin for two more hours.

Probably the best evidence of karma I’ve ever seen in my life is DirecTV’s policy on agent abuse. You verbally abuse an agent, They send you a phone bill. $0.68 per minute for every call you made and harassed an agent. This guy had 6 hours worth of abusive behavior on his log. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he received that bill.

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