TIL that common sense really, really isn’t common.
M = Me C = Customer
M: Thanks for calling Blah, my name is u/thehomesteadhob, how can I help you today?
C: You can start by being smarter than the last one I spoke to. What do they pay you people for? Not to do your jobs?
M: I’m sorry to hear that my colleague wasn’t very helpful, but I promise that I can help you today.
Obligatory account information requested, some initial probing to figure out what he wanted. He’s having issues with his TV – no signal, no response with remote, etc. He says the STB is on and tells me that the error message says “no signal”. I’m thinking great, I know exactly what this is. Easy. To put the cherry on top of my sundae, he calms down after I start building rapport. Great, right?
M: Okay sir, I need you to be my eyes here, okay?
M: I need you to tell me what lights you see on your cable box. What colours are they?
C: No lights on at all. Nothing’s working!
I’m thinking okay, no problem. We’ll just skip a few steps and get right to the rebooting. I start trying to walk him through literally unplugging and plugging in the equipment. Before I know it, we’re forty minutes into the call and this guy isn’t getting a single thing I’m saying. Then he drops this on me:
M: It’s just the black cord. All I need you to do is –
C: clearly frustrated This is silly.
M: Don’t worry, sir, you’re doing great! I’m sure between the two of us we can –
C: No, no, it isn’t that. I’ve just never had to turn it on before to make it work.
M: … I’m sorry?
C: It’s always just worked. I don’t need to turn it on. The picture just comes on when I want it to.
M: slowly realizing what the problem is Sir, is your TV turned on right now?
C: No, I just told you. I’ve never had to turn my TV on to make it work before!
M: … Sir, how do you watch TV without the TV on?
C: What do you mean, how do I watch TV? I just watch TV. The pictures are always there!
M: … And how did you see a “no signal” error message if your TV isn’t turned on?
C: I just knew it would be there! I don’t need to turn it on for that! Don’t you people know anything?!
I’ve never hit the mute button so fast in my life.