So, I work at a company that rents daily offices and meeting rooms, other than offer a virtual secretary service (with also an adress for snail post) all day long I’m glued to the phone when I’m not running from a level to the other to fix the clients WiFi connection, explain someone that you cant use a vga cable with a hdmi port and sorting out the clients mail.
We have 3 mayor types of requests: -info about smth the client sells – info about real estates – doctors (a clinic, 2 specialists and a general practioner) In the 90% of cases we know squat about said product or apartment so we just send a report to the client with the caller’s info (we rarely transfer the call) and let them sort it. It’s around 250/300 reports sent in a day, my avarage is 70 reports sent, the record is 120…yay, gotta love the morning shift!
Anyway, it general doesn’t bother me to work hard and be on several lines at once (unless it’s because a colleague is slacking off) but there are some callers that I just can’t stand.
- The Jon Snow
Usually calls to inquire about some apartments and knows nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Notable example: M “hi, It’s real-estate-agency here, how may I help you?”
C “I saw and apartment”
M “Ok, where did you see the advertising?”
C “On a sign, on the building”
M “And where is this building?”
C “I don’t know the name of the street”
M “A we renting or selling it? Do you remember how many square metres or how many rooms it has”
C “I don’t remember…”
M “Even if you don’t know the name of the street can you tell me the general area?”
C “It’s near the bus stop”
M “What line and what stop?
C “The one I take to go to work”
M internally screaming “Ok, can you tell me what are you looking for? What’s your budget?”
C “I don’t know”
Then accidentally on purpose pressed the wrong button and the line fell…
2 – The white rabbit
Generally wakes up at the last second to call about something they need. They are everywhere. Starting uni next week? “I need to rent am apartment and I need to rent it yesterday”. Buying something online? “Yeah but I want it this afternoon”
It’s 19.35, 23rd of December “Hi, this is client-selling-smartphones online”
C “Hey hi, I need a phone!”
M “Ok, if it’s still avaible you can get in in your shopping cart, you register and pay. The delivery time is between 2 and 7 working day-“
C “you mean I wont have it before xmas?!”
M “nope, we are also closed for the holidays. We start shipping again in January and only the switchboard is operative”
C ” can you prioritize my order so i can have the phobe tomorrow?!”
M “sir, we close in 20 minutes, it’s friday and tomorrow it’s Christmas eve. You are not gonna get a phone before January”
C “fuck you then”
M, to the dead line “you too”
3 – James Bond
Informations, what informations?! Everything is top secret.
C “i need to talk to client”
M “and your name is?”
C “he knows me”
M “Sir, I need a name”
C “oh god, I’m mr X, he knows me”
M “I’m sorry but I can’t put client through right now..can I live him a message and have him call you back? Your phone number?”
C “he has it”
M *copying the number from the display “and the reason of the call?”
C “he knows”
4 – The imaginary invalid
There are two different species, the one who wants to skip work and the one who thinks he’s dieing. Speciment one usually calls on a Friday morning, sometimes Thursday, and tries (failing) to pretend he’s sick.
Notable example Friday, 8.32. C horribly cheerful at this time in the morning “hello, i need to see the gp asap. I’m not feeling well *fake cough and I need a sick leave”
The other exemplar is usually an old person or the basic idiot who forgot that pills ran out
Notable example, fresh as it happened yesterday
C “I need an urgent appointment today?”
M “are you sick? Do you need a certificate for work?.
C “no but I must show the doc my blood test!”.
M “madame, it’s not urgent. I can book the appointment for monday morning”.
C “but the exams are messes up! One is like 20.5 and should have been 20! And I sneezed twice, twice!, since yesterday”.
M “it’s not urgent, no appointment this week.”
C “I’ll go anyway!!!”.
M “k, madam, you go and see if the doc will let you in” *the doc told her to fuck off and call back for an appointment on monday
And I think it’s all for now, sorry but I needed to went. Possible updates in a near future. Also, not native English speaker and typing on the phone, show mercy please