How we got a student expelled

I’m a supervisor in Customer Service for a Textbook Distributor. We sell books, buy them back, and offer technical support for the eBooks we sell, as well as various other electronic items needed for students.


This happened when I first started, about three years ago. I wasn’t involved, but I have heard all of the calls, read the chat logs, and read the documentation on the customer’s account, and can verify that this is legit.


One of the schools we serviced at the time was dedicated to military personnel and their immediate families. You either had to be in the military, have a spouse that was in the military, or have a parent that was in the military to be accepted into this school. We actually miss working with this school because all of the students were pleasant to work with. The dean of the school was an active duty US Army Colonel and the students had to abide by the same code of conduct the military uses.


Enter Entitled Soccer Mom (ESM). This woman was a nightmare. We knew from day one that she was going to be a nightmare. Her initial contact with us was for her first class and she was ordering books. The average order placement call takes 4-5 minutes. Her’s lasted 30. While entering her information she cussed the agent out twice for incorrect spellings. One was for her last name (which in the agents defense was about 15 letters long and had only like 2 vowels) and the other was for spelling her email address wrong, which also had her last name in it. The agent had a thick skin (we’ll call this agent TS from here on as he worked with her a lot) though and made it through the call which involved a lot of swearing at the prices of books, shipping, and shipping times (I should note that shipping times are out of our control as UPS is the one delivering not us). Finally the customer pays and the call ends.


Fast forward about a week. ESM calls again in the mid-morning cussing us out because she has not received her books yet. TS ended up getting her again. He tracks the package and it shows out for delivery. He informs ESM it’s out for delivery and UPS can delivery up to 9:00pm local time. She starts cussing again demanding to know what time they will be delivering her books. He tells her he doesn’t know and it could be as late as 9:00pm local time. He even offers to transfer her to UPS so she can try and get a more specific time-frame from them. She responds with “Fuck you!” and hangs up. She then proceeds to call back every 30-45 minutes demanding to note where her package is and every agent has told her the exact same thing, and every agent was either hung up on by her, or hung up on her for cursing (after giving her fair warning). I should note at this time we’re actually thinking that she may have some kind of mental disorder due to the amount of cussing and lack of reasoning that she has exhibited. Her last call was about 5:15pm so we figure that she finally received her package sometime after that.


Fast forward two weeks. She’s about a week and a half into her first class and she calls again:


TS: Thank you for calling Textbook Distributor, this is TS, how can I help you today?


TS (with an audible groan): Mrs. ESM if you continue to behave in such a fashion I will not be able to transfer you to a supervisor and I will have to disconnect this call.


TS didn’t even let her finish.


ESM is now infamous in our office, but being the good agent he is, TS goes to his supervisor and lets him know what just happened with ESM. The supervisor is discussing the situation with his supervisor (the department director). The director is fed up at this point cause even he has heard of ESM. But he decides to give her the benefit of the doubt and call her back to see why she needs a supervisor.


ESM: Hello? (In the most cheery voice you have ever heard).

Director: Is ESM available?

ESM: This is her, may I ask who’s calling (still cheery)?

Director: This is Director with Textbook Distributor and I understand you had called earlier and wished to speak with a supervisor, but that call was disconnected due to some unpleasant things being said. I’m giving you a call to see what we can do for you today.

ESM (as we know and love her): You’re goddamn right I said some “unpleasant things” I’m suing your fucking company. I’m at my mechanic right now because of your shitty product!

Director (confused): May I ask why you’re at the mechanic because of us? To my knowledge we don’t sell any products for cars.

ESM: Because the fucking CD that came with your textbook got stuck in my car and it won’t eject. Do you have any fucking idea how much repairs cost on a fucking Mercedes?! You can expect to hear from my fucking lawyer!

Director brings up her account and looks at the order and see’s one item listed (not exact title):

Business Management w/ DVD

Director: Ma’am the item you put in the CD player in your car is clearly labeled as a DVD. This item will only work in a DVD player. But if you feel the need to involved your lawyer you can give him this number (gives her the number to our Legal Dept.)

ESM: You bet your fucking ass I will! And how the hell was I supposed to know that it would only work in a DVD player?!

Director: Did you follow the instructions clearly listed on the sleeve the DVD came in?

ESM: About 5 seconds of silence Fuck you! click


At this point the Director has about had it and digs through the school’s contact information and brings up the contact information for that school. He gets the Colonel on the line and tells him what has been going. The Colonel is aghast by these accusations and asks if the Director can prove it and the Director informs him that he can expect all of the call recordings by email shortly.


The next day the Director comes in to an email from the Colonel with only two sentences.


Director, I have received the calls. Effective immediately ESM has been expelled and trespassed from the school.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

“…to sell the toys you won’t be needing soon?”

Service interrupted? There’s a good reason for that.