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My glorious last day they should not have let me work

Finally. I got out. I just quit. JUST UP AN AT EM. Couldn’t stand being here anymore.

I had finally gotten to the point where I didn’t give any further shits about the call center, so I quit, handed in my two weeks, and my last day was glorious. OH THE THINGS I SAID.

Some background, I work for BigCanadianISP, which was a new experience for me for a couple of months. But oh boy, the amount of bullshit you deal with was too damn much.

Generally, I was pretty good on my last day. Pleasant, peppy, SUPER happy. But to the assholes? Some fun was had with them, because I could.

First customer: calls in, upset about how our prices have increased over the past couple of years.

CX: When I signed up with you back in 1978, I was only paying $60 for everything, now I’m paying $115

Me: I totally understand sir, but everything has gone up since 1978, and your services are used differently now

CX: BUT I’VE BEEN WITH YOU SINCE 1978, I WANT A DISCOUNT

Me: And we appreciate that, which is why you have a $15 discount on your account, so you’re still paying less than—

CX: THAT MEASLY DISCOUNT? THAT IS BS? IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT CUSTOMERS

Me: No, they usually pay full price. This is how we treat loyal customers. You’re not even paying full price.

CX: WELL THATS JUST DISGRACEFUL. I WANT A DISCOUNT

Me: You already have—

Cx: I WANT A BIGGER ONE. I WAS PAYING $60 BEFORE.

Me: Yes, but prices rise over time. Everything does.

Cx: WELL I AM NOT GOING TO PAY $115.

Me: Look sir, prices are going to rise, whether you like it or not.

Cue this for about 20 more minutes explaining to him, I can’t give him any more discounts, that’s the most we can give out with out getting into shit.

CX: IF THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT CUSTOMERS, I AM GOING TO SPEAK TO YOUR COMPETITOR

Me: OK, do you want me to transfer your over to our cancellation team?

CX: HUH? Wha—NO!!! I want a bigger discount

Me: As I’ve explained, I can’t do that.

Cx: SO THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT LOYAL CUSTOMERS.

had enough bullshit at this point. Just want this to end.

Me: Yes.

Cx: Huh, WHA?! HUH? SO THIS IS HOW YOU TREAT US THEN.

Me: yup.

Cx: OK well…I’m not HAPPY

Me: OK.

Cx: …OK….BYE THEN…..

Me: Bye click

I hang up before he can say anything further. It was awesome.

Second Customer He calls in as he was offered a special deal by our outbound agents. Only they are allowed to offer very specific deals. Nobody else can honor that deal if they don’t take it on that day.

Cx: Hi, I got offered a deal for internet at this price for 6 months?

Me: Oh ok. Did this person call you or did you call in? I don’t see it as our current mass offer.

Cx: No they called me. And at first I said no, but I changed my mind.

Me: Do you happen to know their name or employee ID? We would have to get in touch with him to get that back to you.

Cx: No I don’t. Can you just give me this deal?

Me: No unfortunately I can’t, those are very special agents, only they can offer you that. I can offer you internet at THIS price instead for 6 months?

cx: No. I want that deal.

Me: Well, unless you have their extension/name/employee ID, there’s no way I can get that to you.

Cx: Yes you can.

eye twitch

Me: Uh, No…I can’t.

Cx: You can. And you Will.

eye spasm

Me: Uh, NO. I can’t. And I won’t.

Cx: Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to give me this deal, or I’ll be going to your competitor.

Me: OK then. Bye. click

Aint dealing with that shit on my last day. Would have loved to see his face when I did that.

Third Customer. This guy calls in as his services aren’t working. We’ve went through every troubleshooting step we could with him, and booked an appointment out for tomorrow, earliest time, and then even escalated it, but nobody could pick it up.

Cx: My internet is out and I need this fixed, NOW.

Me: Sorry to hear that. Let me get you over to our technical support department to help you out—

Cx: No, I’ve already spoken to them, I need this fixed now.

Me: I see we have an appointment booked for tomorrow morning.

Cx: well I need someone out now.

Me: Look thats the earliest we have as a guaranteed slot, you’re on a waiting list though—

Cx: That’s not good enough. I need someone to come out here NOW.

Me: well we can’t do that. We’ve already escalated it, nobody is available. I can’t get you over to our Tech support department to see if there’s anything further they—

Cx: Well that’s not good enough. I want to speak to your supervisor.

In our company, when someone from our dispatch team says nobody is available, they mean literally nobody is available, and that they’ve squeezed every last available time out of our techs and are probably rushing them at this point to get shit done. Escalating to a sup does jack shit.

Normally I would escalate, but it does nothing, and I don’t care, ITS MY LAST DAY.

Me: Sorry nope. You’ll have to wait for tomorrow.

Cx: Well what am I supposed to do with out internet??? I NEED THIS FIXED NOW.

Me: Go to mcDonalds, starbucks or a library.

Cx: You expect me to go out of my way to get internet?

Me: If its so important you can’t wait till tomorrow? Yes.

Cx: ….I guess I’ll wait till tomorrow….

YES. YOU WILL.

I was so relaxed, I gave 0 shits about hanging up on jerks. I even ended up giving random $20 discounts to nice people, because I could.

It was glorious. They probably should have just asked me to go home instead of coming in on my last day. But oh well.

What do you think?

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“I’m stranded and you sent me a gag gift.”

A very strange, but cute call.