You teach computers, you say? Your students deserve a refund.


Call center for a financial institution. Easily half our day is spent getting people back into their online banking. Every time someone says “I work in IT” I know they’re useless as tits on a bull with computers. I know lots of IT people, they can get into their app and a web site just fine.

Anyway, dude today can’t even remember his username much less his password. I try and tell him how to use the “Forgot my Username” feature and he can’t figure that out. Keeps saying it defaults to a different email. I’m like, “Type in the email you use for online banking.” And he keeps saying it won’t let him.

I’m like, “Okay, how about we just use the desktop version, go to the real web site and reset it there instead of doing it through the app.”

“I got rid of my computer! It’s the 21st century, who has a computer!?”

He proceeds to rant and foam at the mouth for a bit and tells me how our system is the worst thing ever and he knows it because he teaches people to use computers.

I said, “Sir…have you used the browser on your phone?”

“Why would I do that? Those are mobile versions just like the app!”

“Well, not really and if you tap the menu button and select *view desktop version* in your phone’s browser you can get where you need to be.”

“WHAT!?!? There’s no such…”

He then proceeds to make a sound much like what I imagine a caveman witnessing fire would grunt out and says… “This is still just a terrible site and app.”

Have a nice day, sir. Good luck teaching people computers. I’m sure I’ll be resetting their online banking passwords very soon.


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Creepy Sales Call: “The people in the TV won’t stop talking to me.”

Anyone else get customers doubting your name because it’s foreign and you’ve got a fluent English accent?