I’ve yet to recover my energy hence why y’all can’t read our full exchange, but it was an entire 25-35 minutes of this chat exchange (not phones) on loop, each side rewording it differently for each iteration:
Customer: I need someone to guarantee any of your store can fix my laptop in one day.
Me: As the previous advisors you’ve spoken with have explained, we can’t guarantee same-day repair because [insert every reason here].
Customer: I’m not asking for a repair timeframe, I’m asking confirmation if any store can fix my laptop in one day.
me internally thinking: “what the fuck’s the difference?”
Me: You can direct your inquiries to the store since we are only equipped to assist you with repair reservations and set proper expectations.
Customer: I can’t reach the store because no one’s responding.
Me: I’m sorry, that sucks, but chat support has no absolute timeframe to provide because [reiterate every reason here]. If you can reach the store, they might provide a timeframe, having had experience with repairs and such, but this is also not a guarantee. How about you contact our phone support so they can try to reach the store on your behalf? Callbacks are doable, let me know if you fancy that.
Customer: Phone support reads the same script you’re reading off of — same unhelpful notice that no one can guarantee me a same-day repair.
Me: There is no script, but whatever, yeah, we can’t guarantee a same-day repair for reasons already given by more than one representative.
Customer: I don’t need an explanation why you can’t do or answer my question, I just need someone to do something to guarantee any of your store can fix my laptop in one day.
– repeat loop –
And also this loop — other customer, lasted another 20 minutes:
Customer: Why my laptop not covered by repair program?
Me: Because it’s beyond eligibility date.
Customer: Says who?
Me: The public website where that’s stated: [link here].
Customer: Can you double check with your senior if you’re unsure?
Me: I’m 100% sure. The proof is right there in the website for you to see.
Customer: Ok, but I want to hear it from a senior advisor.
Me: They no longer take chats. You want a senior advisor, get to phones.
Customer: Why does a simple question need escalation?
Me: It doesn’t because my seniors and I have access to the same information and explanation.
Customer: So, why are you passing me to phones?
Me: You wanted a senior advisor and wouldn’t accept my explanation.
Customer: Because I just want to know why my laptop is not covered by repair program!
– repeat loop –
If either/both give a bad survey, I’m expecting an earful from my team leader for some of the attitude and wordings I’ve used in the actual chat. The thing is… I’ve played “good-boi-professional-civil-by-the-fucking-book advisor and brutally-honest-snarky-straightforward advisor” for several similar situations and neither approach made a difference: brick wall customers were dissatisfied no matter what I said/did for them — 0% chance of winning to begin with, regardless of my (or anyone else’s) handling/approach.
This is what my team leader fails to realize. I expect he’ll fault me again for my could haves while again failing to realize it would not have made any difference anyway if the customer is already this impervious to reason. (At one point, I low-key tried to bring up my side once, but it was shot down — in Philosophy class his move is called “argument from authority”. I never touched the subject again, why bother?)
He has redeeming qualities, but it’s moments like these we don’t align.
Hopefully, like usual, I can sit-and-nod while internally disagreeing with his opinions and not get shouted at in front of everyone in the entire production floor (as he sometimes does so).
What a fucking way to end my shift and start my week, right?